Nothing lasts forever . . .

Why do I not cry?

2011-12-24T02:32:00.000-08:00

This is a question that has been put to me, not quite often but many times in different scenarios. It is not like I do not cry, I do remember most of the instances I did, though admittedly few.

Thinking about those moments reveals much about what kind of person I am. The feeling that I have let down someone really close, that hurt. I cried silently. Facing an extremely difficult choice between two people, I cried aloud having made that choice. Hearing a song for the first time, tears rolled down taking me by surprise. Reading an article about guns and how human life lay waste triggered an intense anger inside my head and the emotion came out as hot tears.

We all have an emotional threshold beyond which our dam breaks. What we cry for will differ during our growing stages, but a pattern is set and the threshold is a product of our experiences. I do believe, just like being positive and smiling is important, crying our heart out is equally important. This we do not usually tell our children. Cry hard, laugh harder!

I think somewhere a social norm is set, boys don’t cry much and girls cry often. But we have all seen grown up men weep, in joy and sorrow. I wonder whether crying is unique to humans, as is laughter, that which differentiates us from animals. Teary moments stay with us longer than moments of happiness. The happiness can drain away pretty fast, but the quite moment of grief/pain/solitude stays with us longer.

A beautiful moment in ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’ highlighted this. A guy who is afraid of water bodies is taken deep sea diving by close friends on a bachelor’s party trip. The actual experience is so overwhelming that it produces silent tears from his eyes. Piognant! The next time his friends asking him how he did it he just says – ‘Simple’, takes a deep breath and exhales. Just keep breathing…!

Brad Pitt recently said, and I paraphrase – ‘Being happy is overrated. I do not want to be always happy. We all have happy and sad moments. What I want to be is satisfied with what I do.’ Being in a state of “always happy” is an oxymoron for human life.

So my friends, cry, cleanse, remember, laugh and continue breathing…!

Words spoken too early...

2010-04-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

My previous post, exactly a year ago, quotes another post from the year before. While the Apr 2008 post worked out fine, I feel a few words of the Apr 2009 post were spoken a bit too early.

God did will. But it certainly wasn't the best year of my life. In fact I would call it the worst if not for my only solace. My wife and my family. I always had them near to support me through the travails of the past year (health, work, faith).

With caution and hope, I assume the worst has passed. To take a line from the last post,

"With my head held high and a silent prayer on my lips, I look ahead on the road called life... God be with us"

God willing…

2009-04-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

As of today, Hariharan B is certified Post Graduate Diploma in Business Administration from Great Lakes. Things are looking good and there is much to look forward to. But I have a feeling this just might be the starting of the best period of my life, God willing.

With my head held high and a silent prayer on my lips, I look ahead on the road called life…

PS:

Last year I had written…

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

At the end is the beginning…

It is always so. Four and a half years ago I became an employed youth of this country. It is time now to be a student again. I never though stopped being a student of life. I will carry the memories along…Now is a new chapter. In one years time a step up the ladder is imminent. God be with us…

Of Flag-Day, typos and the like…

2009-04-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

I assume most of us will not have gone through the, what to say, rigmarole* of getting one’s name changed, officially! Except that for the past few weeks I’ve been squeezed to my wits end to get my name changed in all the documents an individual has to have. PHEW! Now I know why and how easy it is to go for a name change when you’re at school, before 10th class. If you do so all your subsequent documents which are proof you are a living person be in that name.

Though I had decided I’d go ahead with my name change way back in 2004, I did not do so for various reasons such as location, access to relevant docs and time. But with college coming to an end this month I wanted to make sure I possessed at least one legit certificate with my name as Hariharan. As per procedure, the first step was to fill out a form with stated and prior name and submit to an office near Higginbothams. The official TN Govt Gazette will be issued with the desired text within 10 days time. With the gazette in hand, one needs to advertise the same in a newspaper in English and the regional language. At least one advert has to be in the newspaper of your locality, for passport applications etc.

Those documents I needed to get my name changed in were, in order of importance- passport, license, PAN card and then the bank credit and debit cards. I’ll make this short because if I go into details I’ll have to relive the trauma which I don’t want to.

I went five times to the passport office, five to the license office and twice to the banks. I applied for passport in Tatkal and still fate would have it that my previous passport details in the Pison (Personal Information Source On Net) report was erroneous due to a typo by some moron. I was summoned twice for verification and once more for analyzing this typo. But finally, today, one blessed officer apologized saying that the mistake was internal and that I would receive my fresh one within three days.

The license office was a different story where no ‘paper’ moves to the next desk without deep throated shouting at arrogant officials. The RTO has to sign exclusive case sheets before being processed and my papers was typically so. But the problem was the RTO is a tough man to spot or catch. You should have an extremely lucky day and be a persistent ass to get an audience with the PA of the RTO. Once this happens, data entry of new details, payment of fees and photo shoot takes half a day. Stand in various queues from 9.30am and the printed card will come to your hand for details verification at around 12.30pm. Things can go wrong in between too, like the data entry operator mixing your old and new name in the bills! Finally the card arrives with the officer’s signature and when one turns around to thank the guys who ‘moved’ the papers to various desks is when one is called inside processing room to ‘donate’ Rs.100 for the ‘flag-day’. I guess with increased public awareness or whatever these guys have changed their ways and do not openly ask for bribe. And by the end of the grueling wait, I did want to give them something myself and a 100 split between five people worked fine for me.

Thankfully, the customer interaction skills of the bank employees were a whole Milky Way away from those in government offices. And so I had to visit each bank only once to submit the requisite forms. One has already completed the formalities and I expect the other to do so by the end of the month.

So folks of the world, those who contemplate name change in the future (even those who need to do the necessary in their passports after marriage etc.) contact me for help. And, I shall henceforth be known as Hariharan Balasubramanian, officially! :)

----------------------------------------------------------
For you J ;)

rigmarole (-ə-mə-rōl')n.
1. Confused, rambling, or incoherent discourse; nonsense.
2. A complicated, petty set of procedures <<<-------- *
----------------------------------------------------------

ARR aka Dileep Kumar - G. O. D.

2009-02-22T22:00:00.000-08:00

"Ellapughazhum Iraivan Oruvanukke!"

simple. straight from heart! what a man!

Two on the same night! Jai Ho!

Clincher - "Mere paas ma hai".... ingenious!

PS: K to Oscars... Jai Ho is not ARR's best BGM or song! whatever!

what a stupid world...!

2009-01-03T01:19:00.000-08:00

it matters more what (you) they say than what you do, in the long run. whatever...

a true leader... maan gaye Dada!

2008-11-09T00:35:00.000-08:00

century in the first innings, duck in the last!
good luck for the 'after-life' :)

That day….

2008-11-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

While I was reading college stuff about spiritual leadership and encountered a Kalam story about Vikram Sarabhai and a Rev. Father I got reminded of that day. The day I woke up to Church bells and music, the day I felt at peace with God.
I vividly remember the peace that spread through me when I woke up from my cubicle chair one Sunday morning. I was alone on the Saturday night shift and might have slept off around 2 or 3 in the morning. Here I was blissful in sleep and dreaming about soft clouds possibly. The first few dongs of the bell woke me up. I sat up groggily but the bells started ringing louder and suddenly a mellifluous tune started playing. I could not help but get out of my seat and follow the tune. The small chapel was right behind the office compound and few tens of devotees had assembled for mass.
I walked right up to the gate of the chapel, mulled entering but decided not to. But I wanted to keep hearing the music and so started walking around the housing just across the road, always within hearing distance of the music. Reading about Abdul Kalam and his story, the same sense of peace filled me now! I remember only very few times in life when I have felt that way. And I would keep reminding myself how music, God and bliss are synonymous.

Poi...

2008-08-10T21:34:00.000-07:00

nijam pole thonrum nizhal vaazhkai, oru poi.

life is one humongous juggernaut of lies.

Only us...!

2008-07-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Down the road we walk together
My hand holding hers,
Something she said a moment ago
Got lost in this moment’s silence!

On the road we drive along
Her heart in mine,
The song she is singing
Is better than the last one!

In the mall we coochi-coo
Her eyes in mine,
The cola swig I jus had
Tasted sweeter than the last!

The movie hall is dark
Her head on my shoulder,
The couples’ seat we took is cozy
The movie hardly mattering at all!

Along the coast we glide
No me no she only us,
The waves tease our feet often
We are lost in the serenity!

When I am with her
The whole world ain’t there,
Nothing else seems to matter
I am happy to breathe my last!

and then ...

2008-07-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

he said.. 'i do'...

and sat there silently in the dark, beside me... thinking whether he had taken the right decision. the most important of his life...

it was a serene, pious, contemplative few seconds. life changed that moment for him...

At the end is the beginning…

2008-04-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

It is always so. Four and a half years ago I became an employed youth of this country. It is time now to be a student again. I never though stopped being a student of life. I will carry the memories along…

Now is a new chapter. In one years time a step up the ladder is imminent. God be with us…

2008-03-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

Passion is useless without compassion.

That is except in a sports arena...

Great Lakes - Class of 2009

2008-03-07T10:39:00.001-08:00

I have had sore throats before. And I have had really bad sore throats. But this time I have such a sore throat that I am incapable of even talking about this result aloud!

Talk about letting the ‘result’ do the talking!!!

Yes people, made it through to the Great Lakes Institute of Management.

Mahesh Balaji B - Class of 2009 PGPM

two quotes... recent and relevant

2008-02-19T18:43:00.000-08:00

It takes a lot to stand up to our enemies, but it takes as much to stand up to our friends.
- J K Rowling, Harry Potter

There are four essential questions - what is sacred? what is the spirit made of? what is worth living for? and what is worth dying for? Answer to each is the same. Only love.
- Jhonny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco

Proved beyond doubt...

2007-12-21T06:25:00.000-08:00

Sab keeps repeating it till he runs out of breath, and J seconds it, BK thirds it and Vatsa fourths it. There are people to even tenth it...

But today I myself proclaim Mahesh Balaji to be 'Maccha Kammanaati'!!!

Within two hours of landing in Mumbai and wondering about the sweltering heat and passion around me I ran into a goddess. Before I say anything... do Lo and Behold!

So here goes... I was walking out of the third mall near Sab's place here in Andheri, after picking up tickets for 'Taare Zameen Par'. I saw a pair of amazing legs [drool quotient high red!] and thought it must be foreigner. I passed her and turned to look!! and you know what i saw!

Then I followed her across the busy Mumbai traffic as she crossed from the mall to the opposite building. I waited till she was alone and then gingerly excused myself to ask her if she was an actress. She replied in the affirmative while she was talking on the phone to her friend.

She - 'Mera koi fan aaya hai yahaan pe'
Me - 'Tell him I'm 'Thulluvado Ilamai' fan'
She - 'Mera pehla film ka fan hai'
Me -'Ek photo ley loon?'
She - 'Sure, of course!'

The watchman of the building obliged to take the snap and took a good 5 minuted to do so! Did i love it or what?!! In the sandu gap...

Me - 'Wont you give me a smile'
She - 'Haha..yeah sure!'

And that proves it beyond doubt that Mahesh Balaji is a ...

Here are some more Festive season snaps of 'Mumbai meri jaan'

Happy Holidays! :)

That time of the year...

2007-12-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

Yes it is! Travel time... if you guessed it right. J knows a thing or two about the travel treasure trove that is Karnataka, with both Ghats flanking either side providing numerous 'locations' for backpacking!

This time eight of us from office headed to Kodachadri, a hill top where 'Sri Adhi Shankara' himself did penance, and also Agasthiya prayed. Then we went westward to cool our heels in the Arabian Sea, at the Maravanthe beach south of Mangalore. The mountains were snake infested and a tiring trek but the beach took care of the physical rehab we wanted!

A fun trip! And here are some photos for you to see what we saw...

Eloquent

2007-12-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

After a hiatus copy-paste is here again.

This is something that I read and was touched.

http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/dec/12bhatt.htm

When grief weighs us down...

There are many instances of grief in family life, such as the death of a partner or a family member or a friend. When we experience something that causes us shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw. We may feel remaining withdrawn will keep us protected from the world.
During these times, it is important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. Such people can console us, give us proper advice and the confidence to deal with our problems. Despite our best efforts to go on with life, we never know when someone else's experience or perspective can give us additional information or the consolation we need.
To solve our problems, the universe speaks to us through many channels; when we open ourselves to others to receive its messages, we also receive nurturing care from a loving partner, other family members and close friends.
Grief is part of the human experience; sharing our vulnerability is what creates truly close bonds in relationships. Opening ourselves up to our family members and close friends gets to the core of our being, past all of our defenses and prejudices.
When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time. It is then that we discover who is truly willing to walk with us. We also see that some of those sent to us might not be the persons we expected. Regardless, we learn to trust in the universe, in others, in our own strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of life. This is the time when we can judge who our people are.
Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden, as someone else helps us carry it. This helps us process our inner thoughts and feelings through the filter of a trusted and beloved partner. Remember, not sharing your feelings denies your loved ones the opportunity to feel for you and console you. By sharing our hopes and fears, joys and pains with another person -- like a family member or a friend -- we accept the universe's gifts of wisdom, loving care, consolation and moral support.

[More in the link...]

J to the Oz

2007-12-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

question: 'naa illama romba bore adikkuda?'

answer: 'amaam, nee illama Madras feels like Chennai !'

kavidhai... kavidhai....

Askance...

2007-12-02T18:24:00.001-08:00

Manmadanin anda oar koor paarvai

Udaintha valayal kutthiyadupol,

Kannvazhi kondu, uyir varai sendru keeriyadu !!

Yenn seivaal maathu ?!

a moment of inspiration! pizhai irundaal yeduthu kooravum....

How are you Sir? How's life?

2007-12-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

My life is as it should be. Chaotic this moment. Blissful the next! Thank You.

Another reason why I love my i-pod

2007-11-26T08:39:00.000-08:00

I walked into a glass door with Maddy by my side. I will remember the stunned internal silence, for sometime.

The beauty was, I put on the pod afterwards, and on cue it started to play 'Oho Maddy' from Minnale!

Quirky smile on lips.

update:
http://www.hindu.com/mp/2007/11/28/stories/2007112850400100.htm

2007-11-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

both books were good. i love reading.

learning: peace is temporary myth, war is permanent inevitability. jihad - inside or outside.

is this me?!

2007-10-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

after wanting to do it for almost 15years i did it today. i walked into the library across my street and registered.

on impulse, i brought back two books .

Shalimar the Clown - Rushdie
Waiting for the Mahatma - RK Narayan

ps:
my mind was talking to me when i walked home with the books. it told me in a decided voice -'i can live without a girl for sometime, but not a book'. rather i guess its about the book, the author talking to me... keeping me intellectual company. Whatever!

the contrast

2007-09-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

two friends, gods on thier own accord, walked dissimilar paths to reach similar upper echleons of the indian educational system, as students.

today both travelled to the city of thier alma mater. one made a thumping home-coming, the other decided time was not yet ripe to step in ...

such is life....

maybe, maybe not

2007-09-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

the dream
i am in the lift of a scyscraper. i am on the 3rd floor and with a hydrolic-buzz the lift's going towards the terrace. a constant far away din starts to get 'closer' as the lift passes the 5th floor. i seem to think the bulding has only 6 floors. but there is a 7th floor. When the lift emerges from the closed walls of the 6th floor onto a 'morning light' lit terrace i realise it houses a 'Venkatachalapthy' shrine and there is a big crowd on the terrace. its an auspicious Vaishnavite day... and i step out of the lift to see many familiar people [i guess most of us do this in our dreams] .. my bro... a friend... a few mami's in 9-yards et all [mind somehow tells me its a 'porattaasi sanikizhamai' kind of day; might have been]. i step out of the lift, breathe in the ambience and step up in deference to accept the most amazing 'chakkarai pongal' i have ever had in my life.

the fact
i was trying to sleep hard to catch up on sleep lost due to changing shifts. in the next few hours, i had to take up my gmat. but i was in a quasi-concious state when i got up from the sleep and i remembered these vivid details. in my prep tests i wasn't scoring my best scores, but always held onto the belief i will come good in the final one. i considered the dream as a blessing i dint seek. anyway i came out with a decent score in the real exam.

my decelration: the One is Omnipotent. Yelaam Avan Seyal.

the muse: what i dreamt had anything to do with my performance? maybe, maybe not....

Expanding horizons....

2007-09-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

I am entering unchartered terriroty with regards to the belts I use.

I have a slight paunch.

'God's Debris'

2007-07-12T04:04:00.000-07:00

I dont exactly remmeber how i got into this site, and got reading this, but I wonder how my good cousin Bala has never mentioned this till now. I am sure he must have read or least heard about this.

'God's Debris' is one of the best 'afternoon' books I have read till now. On one of the most boring afternoons in office, I bumped into this book and finished it in 2 hours flat. And did i love it or what!!!

I recommend this book highly - especially for the Matrix fans, the self-thinkers and anyone and everyone who would have read and liked Ayn Rand, Shantaram or Richard Bach. Go on enjoy!

My salutes to Scott Adams. I am looking forward to read more books of his. I might go to the bookstore now to buy original copies of his writings!

a quarter...

2007-07-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

As my bro put it, the situation was my life in a nutshell. Speak of a metaphor!

for my 25th birthday, i saw a movie... ALONE in the theater. I sat in 8 different seats through the movie for want of a good view [albeit the movie being awesome]

{so this time, celebrated with Mel Gibson -- thanks for stunning me and turning my insides out}

Looking ahead

2007-05-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

The past few months have posed veritable challenges and the most recent is living alone in the hometown with pregnant ambitions creating a mild rumble inside.

As of yesterday, parents are on holiday to the US to be with Arun - a long needed break for him, and much needed relief from the humdrum for them too.

All should go well.

'kadavul mela baratthai potuttu, yelaam nalla padiya nadakkum nu nambaren!'

Chennai ahoy...!

2007-04-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

a new month - may
a new place - chennai

:) hoping for the best.
laying past 4 years in blr to rest. :)

2007-03-14T23:15:00.000-07:00

not so happy....

a step towards heaven...

2007-02-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

anbin paadai serndavarukku mudive illayadaa....

manadin neelamyeduvo aduvey vaazhvin neelamadaa..

These were the exact words my heart was humming as I lay on the bed looking into the cieling high bulbs in the large room.

I had just donated my first sachet of blood! What a feeling!

I have wondered many a times why I never ended up on a bed with a tube taking out the cherry-red liquid from me into a sachet. But that chink is now off the corner of my brain and I am happy.

I was literally grinning throughout the process. people who know me well know me to be a movie freak. But nothing could have soothed me better than Kamal's voice gently whispering those lines in my ears! :)

Happy!

Me...a travellin soldier...

2007-01-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

Guess what… same old story. I have been traveling like nuts for the past couple of weekends. The Jan 20-21 weekend was a ‘History channel’- visit to the ruins of Hampi and surrounding places combining the visit to Kavitha’s wedding in Bellary. The next long-weekend was celebration time for Saro’s birthday at Tuticorin and the house-warming ceremony of Sri’s new home at Coimbatore.

That I believe a picture speaks a thousand words will be evident with this entry. Enjoy [forgive the bad arrangement ]…

Viroopaksha Temple, Hampi

The ruins of Hampi...

YogaNrisimha and Queen's Bath [approach]

Pillar Mandapam Monolith Vinayaka Temple [outside]
Lotus Mahal and The Stables

Raga-Pillars
Stone Chariot

At the wedding...

Now for some snaps at Tuty and Padmanabha Palace

At the Grihapravesam...

2007-01-16T18:58:00.000-08:00

She lied to me. Again.

Honnemaradu...

2006-11-28T00:30:00.000-08:00

With a certain pesky animal out of the way, the time was ripe. But the plot had been hatched weeks ago knowing that this time would come. Maybe it’s the monsoons of India or plain ad-hoc-ism that this time of the year I get extremely interested to shrug the world off and head into the wild! And boy, we just did that and how!

This time around it was a often-trekkers-known place called Honnemaradu near the Karnataka district of Shimoga. Nine of us office guys-n-gals packed minimum stuff and headed to this environment friendly place where no smoking, drinking or even outside food is allowed. The facilities were also minimal with only an open well and four walls to do as a bathroom and a dilapidated toilet with a single pipe outside as the only source of water! But the staff in-charge at the place was skilled and well mannered and helped us have a great time.

The weekend spent in the islands was exhilarating and calming at the same time. The serene surroundings with nothing but wilderness around were a treat to the eyes. But what activities were planned for us took us into the groove! First we had a few hours of life-jacket aided swimming in the Sharavathi River, in the backwaters of the Linganamakki dam. Then we took coracles into the river and learnt the basics of rowing and maintaining direction. After a really tiring session in the waters we came back for lunch and after resting for sometime we headed off to one of the islands for a night camp and bon-fire et all!

It already got dark before we reached the island and then we all had to take our torches out to find wood for the fire. After a crazy half an hour of finding dead twigs and wood as fuel [we are not to uproot any tree for this purpose] it was just we and the stars. All of us learnt the basics of laying out a tent in the middle of nowhere and then had to put up one ourselves. After that we had a great buccaneering session – just the fire for light and high pitched songs under the billion stars. Stuff of dreams! :)

Early morning we rose with the sun and had the arguably best half an hour of our trip. Sitting silently on the shore of a water body watching the sun rise in all its splendor, disturbing early morning mist and clearing the clouds is one experience worth having a 1000 times. Then we rowed back to the mainland and after a great breakfast of poori-sabji we were all ready for the trek up the nearby hill. We walked the trail of 1.5 kms that lead us to the hill top from where we could see the winding river and all the islands sprayed around and also the dam at a distance.

All was not yet over and we once again forayed into the river and this time as pairs in canoes. We had to put to practice what we learnt about rowing and each pair rowed to a distant island from the mainland and back. I would say it gave a sense of self-worth. Though we did not want to leave the place we already had a train waiting for us back to Bangalore. So we left with a heavy heart but a heady experience from Honnemarudu to Jog falls before taking our train back home.

I am going back again!

The out-of-the-world week that was!

2006-07-20T02:56:00.000-07:00

Wow what a week it was! I am yet to come out of the heady feeling that I was in, throughout week Jul9-Jul15. Without any shadow of doubt, it has been the best week of my life, as I comprehend it now. Even if I do want to bring it all in here and save it for posterity, read it sometime in the future and derive happiness from the words, I don’t know if I would do justice to those inner feelings through these mere words. All I would want to do is capsule this week’s time for repeated consumption! Alas… time won’t wait, so here it all comes in the blog.

Sun Mon Tue – Marriage (growing up)

The 9th and 10th of July was my cousin’s marriage. Being a part of this family function and also playing a useful part in the proceedings gave me immense satisfaction and was sure a learning, growing experience. In simple words, my inner voice said – ‘you are now 24!’ And I can assure you that’s not a bad feeling at all. 11th was rest day and nothing works better than taking leave from office spending ‘quality’ time with near and dear ones. I enjoyed the food, the people and everything about the big fat wedding! :)

Wed Thurs – Food (Bliss)

The excellent streak of amazing food that I had in Chennai stretched into Bangalore also. 12th July, Wednesday was super lunch at Krishna Kafe. 13 July, Thursday was shopping@ Forum and dinner at Pizza Hut. Of course the company I had for both the sessions made the midweek worth remembering! ;)

Friday [Jul 14] – Crossing borders

This was predestined I suppose! The storyline is, a someone from across the globe decides to go on a crazy ‘hat-hunt’ with a equally crazy guy across the city! And did the rain-god have a ‘dry’ sense of humor or what! Both of us were totally-totally drenched before we could reach the theatre for the evening show! [Albeit with our prize cap safe with us]. The consensus was that, if only the movie was for a smaller duration, Superman Returns could have been enjoyable! And yeah, she loved the gift! :)

Saturday [Jul 15]– Perfect finish

When in a dream everything feels great but chances are that we will forget it once awake. But there are some dreams that refuse to go even after we are wide awake because the last few moments of the dream were such exhilarating moments. This Saturday was such a finish to the great week. Everything (well almost) was perfect about the trip 7 of us from office took, to Nandi Hills 60kms off Bangalore, on 4 bikes! :) The weather was just perfect for a long drive with really cool wind and the occasional drizzle. Clean roads leading to the mist covered hills in the horizon, with flush meadows / agriculture land on either side was irresistible. And I do have to mention the ‘wow’ home-made breakfast and lunch we had taken with us to the trip. I am actually unable to get words to describe the fun and frolic we had atop the hills playing cards, mocking the monkeys, taking umpteen photos and having a blast!!

Life is good, as it has been for quite sometime now and I don’t intend to stop having fun like this!

Unwind – Rewind

2006-06-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

The past two years have been significant for more than a few reasons. It is extremely difficult to learn lessons from life as and when it is being taught. Only retrospection makes us wiser! And now as I rewind and look forward to shifting gears in life, I am sure I will cherish the memories of the past couple of years. I will keep reminding myself of small incidents that the lessons consisted of so that the crux stays with me and what I learnt does not get lost in this seeming poser that life is.

This entry seems to be THE most personal in this space as of now, but I needed to put this down to tell myself where I stand now. It is not a 100m race we run to go at one shot. It is a whole lifetime which we remember by stages and I feel I am stepping onto my next stage. God be with me.

Latest motto fad:

tEjaswi nAvadheeta mastu
(Let, what we study be invigorating)

Saha veeryam kara-vAva hai
(together, let us achieve great deeds)

Does "grey" matter??? YES IT DOES!!! :D

2006-05-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

It’s a good feeling to WIN! And ‘we’ won it today! Nowhere near the achievement like the one below, but a win nonetheless. ;)

Ok… the ‘we’ is Karthik my roommate, Gurmeet my friend and me. We formed the ‘DOES “GReY” MATTER’ team for an event conducted by a Wipro division as celebrations for 5 years of their completion. There were two preliminary rounds where as individuals forming a team we had to display various skills. There was a standard two minutes time slot in which each of had to give our own introduction, two more minutes for displaying our latent talents [I drew! :D what else? ;)], and two more minutes for describing an incident in life that changed our perspective towards life [I talked Tsunami! easy na…life n perspective n all…:D]. So after doing all this we reached the final which was held today.

In the final we had a crazy round, where each of us had to fill forms with questions like fav color and fav holiday destination. Then the judges would exchange the sheets and ask one about the other! To check how we gel as a group and how well informed we are about each other! The next round we were given a topic to be discussed and presented for 3-4 minutes., which our team managed to do competently well.

So there! We won!!! And we get coupons to one of the retail outlets in Bangalore! Boy did we have fun! Sure! All of us are happy that 3 people who know very less about each other teamed up and the team clicked! Congrats Karthik and Gurmeet! :D

PS: There were audience-questions and moi answered correct to win myself two tickets to 'ICE AGE-2' :D!!! Cool movie!

Is it 'too late'? or not?

2006-04-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

What you need to know

I am gung-ho!!! ‘Cos my cousin has just won a National Level competition conducted by Microsoft. No mean task! And this was a competition conducted at three levels! First at the college level at Amrita College, CBE they were asked to present papers. After being selected for a zonal presentation they had to come to Chennai, compete with some 30 odd teams and they came out trumps. I was there when these guys presented their ‘Automatic Call Taxi – Detector and Router’ project. Arun if you remember it was on your laptop this was presented! :D

Next they get selected for this National level presentation at Hosur Road, Bangalore which was held yesterday. They had to compete here with 20 teams from all over the country. And they present this [the one titled iTRUST- An End to End Trust Based Model for Access Control]. And guess what? They win it hands down! The Prof from IIT-B, who was top panelist congratulates them on this achievement. One Ms.Sheila, second only to Gates in MS as my gullible cousin put it [and I think I might be wrong here], presided over the function and gave over this cool cash prize of 75k to the team of three. Great going Chicha and friends!!! KUDOS!!! AWESOME!

What I need to know

Just when I got this sms from my cousin saying he won it, the first thing I told him is – ‘guys, this ain’t something simple. Please leave any other work you guys have and find out all the procedures for patenting this stuff. Let the 75k go towards that. ‘Cos I know anyway that you guys don’t booze! LOL’

And that’s when he told me similar sentiments were displayed by all and sundry! His HOD had asked them to patent this stuff way back when they presented his to him. But probably my guess is that even he did not know how much he meant it. Now that this has won the prize it becomes utmost priority for it to be patented immediately. Even the IIT Prof and many other corporate people who attended the seminar shared similar views.

My Question

The hitch here is, MS clearly states that they will video tape the whole event and will use any or all parts of the presentations. So how will this affect these guys patenting the stuff? Will the patent hold? I am a bit at sea regarding this patenting stuff. So am finger-crossed and waiting to hear more from my cousin. People reading this tell me what you think.

PS:

Dei Chicha, nee thaanda intha kathaila hero! Go on and put your comments here telling what all you did throughout this journey to the top! ;) oru periya kathai sollu paapome

PS2: ---- [for those who dont read the comments section only]

i got some facts wrong on top...so here's the correct version, from my cousin himself.....

hi guys n gals....actuallly he had mixed up the whole stuff...here is the real stuff..to start wit..this competition is Microsoft Student Proj..for more info visit www.msapp.net or www.microsoft.com ..last yr we presented a proj by name"Radio Taxi Management System".it carried us to south India level where we had to giv it up coz at the time of review we had exams n so cud not finish code.still after the exams we completetd the proj n got the certificate too from microsoft.now this yr bein the final yr we planned to do a proj tat was feasible within tis sem for the final univ review as well as for Microsoft specifications.so this time we did iTrust-An end to endtrust based access control.for info on this view www.msapp.net n click project exhibition link.so here the first level had 7000 teams fallin into the fight.from there we moved to the next level of competing wit 600 shortlisted teams.from there it was the India finals in banglore yday where we had our stal for exhibition among 20 best proj in the country.finally after a lot of hot judging n reviewing n exhibiting n panicking n sweating n waiting n questioning n.....there it was announced..around 6:30evenin we were told we were to present our proj o stage.still we tht its just to entertain the crowd.wat we had in store was just amazing.it was sosimilar to any film fare award festive(i mean the set up..the call for the team..the focus light on the presenters....)we did our [presentation n took our seats in the crowd.n finally wen the prize distribution came.we held our breaths only after our team werre announced the best proj team n we were offered a cheque(a big one like for the man of the match in cricket)of a small amount Rs.70000.so tat was the whole thing.

Cut to the chase!

2006-03-08T05:04:00.000-08:00

I have never done this! Give one hell of a chase! Today, while I was entering the Chennai Koyambedu bus terminal, to book tickets for my Bangalore return journey, two guys on a bike entered the gates from the wrong direction of the main road and sped past me! And then I noticed the very 'ponchy' police man running up behind them shouting for them to stop! And where does he run out of breath?! just in front of my bike!!! He immediately got on my bike and said two words - 'Chase them'. I wasn't left with any option. Zoom I went around the bus stand and into the Koyambedu market! It was a very decent chase I should say... and that guy did a very good job of trying to avoid us but eventually ran out of steam. As soon as we caught up, they got into a heated argument and I dint want to hear any of it! I sped back to the bus stand... but such a crazy event took me off guard for a few minutes!
Wah! What an efficient police system we have!

Our President Kalam was always wedded!!

2006-02-19T21:07:00.000-08:00

The President has been wedded for so long now, and we still keep asking him why he is still a bachelor! The neat thought that ‘patriotism’ is greater than ‘love’ is personified by our Pres. And both in fact are not two different things to him, his patriotism is his love!

Read this and see how proudly he talks about her. His heart swells for her. He always wishes well for her. He has her goals in mind, and gives her the best of ideas to go forward. He envisions her to be THE best. How lucky the bride has been! Long live their bonding!

He is wedded to the nation, and what a suitable soul mate he has been to this resurgent India!

Sir, you make us proud! Salutations!

PS: read his 'Wings of Fire', and you will realise his was a child-marriage!!!

Don’t we all have our horcruxes??

2006-02-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

Just when I am sitting in office wondering how come none I could talk to is online today, I realized something. It is a very nebulous thought. It is, how little we would actually know about what the person we are chatting with is doing. It is totally unlike talking in person. There could be a different level of acquaintance with different person we chat with. Some we might know very well and some others we would not have seen in our dear life! And the multitudes of logins we have become our online horcruxes!! We ‘live’ on the net through them, spend considerable time talking to people over chat sessions, conversation and what not! For instance all I have seen of me dear friend in 3 years now is only a few hours we spent when he was in India. But we never lost ‘touch’ because we always do catch up online. And there is this amazing being in Canada who still never ceases to be mind-blowing!! But all I know of this person is only through the internet, and yet I feel so very at-home when talking to her. So isn’t it me who is talking to her? Or is it not her who is talking to me all the time! And this is how horcruxes are supposed to work... preserve life across the unknown. OK, the horcrux in the book preserves life, but these online horcruxes preserve the personality. As I had written in my other post, what any person writes is what the person likes to read, the person himself/herself. Mails/chats might be the way we preserve ourselves in these horcruxes! :P Some idea!

ps: sorry, those who aint Harry Potter fans, if you dint got head or tail of the post!

Holocaust II / WW III ... ?

2006-02-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

The Hindu came out with this article in yesterday’s issue. To say the least, it astounded me! What arrogance! How impudent on America’s part? As per the article, "There is only one thing worse than the United States exercising a military option and that is a nuclear-armed Iran,'' said Senator John McCain, a likely Republican contender for the presidency in 2008.
So America will never stop lording over the Middle East/world? Yes WTC was brought down. But how does Iran’s plans directly affect the US? Bush’s deceleration ‘This is WAR’ was against the Afghans supposedly, right? Then where did Iran come into the picture now? I am not talking like I don’t know how it all has been going. But here I am trying to step back and think in the ‘history’ angle. If someone from the future were to read newspapers from around 9/11’s time, with knowledge of the American superpower status, I guess it will show starkly that the world was taken on a ‘terror’ ride by the US… and whatever ‘threat’ was posed by Afghan, Iraq or Iran was as empty as the famous and never found “WMD”.

OK my point is, if Osama was earlier trained by the US for operations against Russia and he gave back some medicine to US when he thought what they were propagating against his religion was wrong, how does it become entirely wrong on Osama’s part alone. Isn’t the big question these days – ‘Who is a bigger terrorist Osama or Bush? – correct in context?

Another interview of Ziauddin Sardar in yesterday’s paper gave a very good insight. About Islam he says – ‘Scholars and thinkers have been suggesting for well over a century that we need to make a serious attempt at ijtihad, at reasoned struggle and rethinking, to reform Islam. Reform, in my opinion, is long overdue. It is time we made serious attempts to rethink Islam in contemporary terms.’ But he also says – ‘The cartoons are not about freedom of expression; they are all about naked use of power and demonisation. They are not just maligning the Prophet; they are saying that he was intrinsically violent, that the creed he preached is violent, and hence all those who follow him are violent. In other words, Muslims are inherently violent and evil. No culture or people can tolerate such a level of demonisation. Last time, Europe demonised a people to this extent we ended up with the Holocaust. As far as I am concerned, these cartoons are a reflection of racism and Islamophobia that is now running rampant in Europe.’
It rang very true to me! What if 10 years from now newspapers start categorizing this decade as the decade of WW III!?? Lets say it all started with 9/11 attacks because the ‘Gulf War’ is a separate entity in the relative past. So the US declares WAR on Afghan. Next, with false allegation and ‘manufactured’ reports descends its troops in Iraq soil. Gets it hand on all the oil it wants and is still not satisfied. It tells the world that Iran is dangerous if it can have nuclear weapons [as if the US alone is not!!!] and goes on to bunker-bomb the nuclear facilities, in the process razing out Iran too.

Here, I am going to imagine more… to make things more dramatic. Let’s say China springs a surprise on the US coming out in support of some Middle East country [this event is not totally ruled out even in today’s world]. And Russia [it is already inviting Hamas leaders to Moscow] takes a stand against the US too. And now, the US is all too much into this to step back and prevent another catastrophe. WW III flares around the world - Holocaust is here! It results in a catastrophe never known in human history. It makes WW II look like it was not a ‘major’ war as this one!!

Can this be stopped? If it can be, it has to be done NOW! Bush’s second term is getting worse for him by the day! And I don’t really know if a President can be impeached because he took his nation to an unwanted war! And he has 2 more years to stay in power, including 2006. It boggles my mind to think of the possibilities! And all this has the potential to have really far reaching consequences. Can and will the Americans stop Bush from taking the world on a terror ride? Guys sitting out there in the US, you people are placed in the inside of the place I am talking about. Can you give at least a fair picture of how things might go on, from here? Bala… here’s your favorite topic. Give me a big comment here!

A good story...

2006-02-06T20:23:00.001-08:00

After browsing through a few blog entries such as this and this, I was wondering how indeed we have lost the art of story telling. As the ‘lazygeek’ pointed out in his blog, when Kamal said we have lost the art of script writing I really believed it was true. My guess is any movie … ANY... is as good as its script. And I just watched Fight Club [the Edward Norton one]… so there you have proof how the script can work wonders. Its all there in the head, just a bit of imagination is needed. Movies are such a vast canvas and you can tell the story however you want it and the audience is ‘mould-able’ into a mood. And this mood can be generated only with a good script. Even Rang De Basanti works for me ‘cos it has a neat script, the juxtaposing of sepia and color was good technicality too!

But this post is about my reminiscences of my college days where I was the sole narrator of vivid tales to the, nay I call, ‘pattikaataans’!! What I mean to say is, I was the city guy in the whole floor of the polytechnic hostel and we had a good 12-15 guys [the pattikaataans you see] sitting around me, after dinner, listening to my narration of ‘ID-4’ and ‘The Rock’. I was just out of school then and I am still not able to understand how I really ‘narrated’ the story of ‘Matrix’ to 2 unlucky guys! A funny anecdote is that one of the guys went home one of the weekends and happened to be watching a movie on HBO. Most of the movie got over but the poor guy had missed the initial titles and dint have a clue which movie he was watching. But towards end of the movie, a guy standing on an island lights up two flashlights and waves it at an incoming aircraft. It was at that instant when it hit my happy friend that this was the story I was narrating the week before! He knew he was watching ‘The Rock’ and this friend still attributes it to my very theatrical narration of stories that makes him like even drab movies, ‘The Mexican’ for instance. He watched it just because I said it was good and dint like it one bit. But I did, maybe ‘cos I liked Brad and Julia in it.

Anything given a twist and an angle always interests the listener/reader. Such as one of my posts did, I should guess! So narrating and listening to stories is important. And it is more important that such ‘paati kathaikal’ are narrated to every kid, ‘cos I have vivid memory of how I staggered at the immense nature of the ‘Viswa Roobam’ on screen, watching the Mahabaratha as a tiny tot. And I believe each kid should experience that. My friend and I could only feel sad about how kids these days did not have a ‘Stone Boy’ or a ‘Circus’ or even ‘Potli Baba’ to watch on TV. All that has been raided by ‘The Mask’ and ‘Jack the Samurai’ and ‘Jonny Bravo’ that give instant laughs like the fast food, but the taste never lingers on as it does with watching a ‘Bhishma Maharaj’ or ‘Kroor Singh’ for that matter! We really need to get back our story telling ways!

Is this prejudice?

2006-01-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

I am just going to plainly state what I think. I thought maybe it might sound prejudiced, but its each to his own.

There was no Aryan invasion. And the Vedic Indian society that existed before that was the best. The one where there were only four divisions in society. And a theory to back that, which says the Brahman comes from the Head of God [hence the intellect and responsibility to perform yagnyas for the sake of others]; the Kshatriya comes from the ‘Bhuja’s (shoulders)of God [hence the power to fight and protect one’s country]; The Vaishya comes from the thighs of God [hence the ability to travels the world for trade leading to prosperity]; the Shoodhra comes from the feet of the God [hence the ability to serve others].

The point here is, each person born is born into one of these four realms and each one does what one does best. And so each should pursue what will come to him naturally which will just go on to enable the society prosper as a whole. Guess Adam smith said something on these lines. As in the movie Beautiful Mind, Nash says – ‘Adam Smith was incomplete when he said – everyone in the group would pursue his best interests for the group to prosper.’ Nash corrects it by saying – ‘each in a group should do what is best for him and the group for the group to prosper.’ This basis of group theory is what I guess needs to prevail in any society for overall progress. How this can happen and when, I have no clue. But I know we, in our pursuit for the perfect society, will need to reach there!

oru lady's finger-in nagam!

2006-01-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

naan avalin nagam pole...

aval vetti vida vida.. meendum mulaippen !

aval ariyaamal avalukku uridhi alippen !!

enna irunthaalum, naan illaamal aval illai !!!

rough translation:

I am like her finger nail...

every time she cuts me off, i will rise again !

without her knowledge, i will give her strength/support !!

anyways, she aint she without me !!!

[situation: this post was a sudden inspiration in the morning, when i was cutting my nails! :)]

Back from Heaven!

2005-12-27T16:55:00.000-08:00

Just back from Heaven. And this is not about the 11 hours sleep I just woke up from but about the visit to God’s own country with six of my friends!!! It seems very interesting how just a year ago I was almost wiped off the face of earth. And one year hence, here I am back from exploring mom Nature… I still have to come to terms with her splendor and majesty!!! What sights, what grandeur! Every such trip of mine turns into a humbling experience and now I have most definitely decided I need to take time off once in a year to travel with friends around! It is amazing fun definitely!

I was wondering how to start this blog, but with photographs inserted, I decided chronological order would make more sense. Seven of us from office headed towards Wayanad district in Kerala on the morning 22nd December. The journey from Karnataka into Kerala passing the Bandipur forests was eventful, what with the driver having a dangerous auto-rickshaw-driver instinct! A resourceful friend among us had obtained a worthy contact at the place we were headed to and also got a cottage booked for us in the interiors of Kalpetta, a suburb of Wayanad.

Once we got to Kalpetta around noon, we got the complete list of places that we could visit from our ubiquitous and ever-useful contact and we decided we would cover the lake, the waterfall and ‘view-point’ on the first day. The Pookode Lake was a scenic place surrounded by hills and we took two boats to have some great fun for half an hour. Two friends who I would rate good enough to stage a stand-up comedy show made the whole trip a big blast! The view-point was an excellent vantage point from where one could view the splendor of the valley spread out.

The website has to say this about this point – “Entrance to Wayanad from Calicut with Lofty peaks, gurgling streams and luxuriant forests add magic to the journey up the winding roads to this hill station.” Against odds, we made it to the Soochipara falls in time and what a worthy visit it was! An amazing cascade hidden between hillocks with a 2 km trail leading to it made this a perfect start to a memorable trip. All except one of us got ourselves drenched in the waterfall and it had us all wondering how much of a physical exertion the next day’s trek was going to be. We had no clue to what was waiting!

We knew we were about to trek up a 2100mts mountain – Chembara peak and we had to take permission from the local forest dept guys to do so. We also had to take a guide along - Satish, a teacher by profession. He led us through the tortuous path giving insights about the historical and geographical significance of the place. Along the diagonal of the hill we had to take what would be called ‘otthai adi paadai’ in tamizh, covered on all sides by thick mountain flora. The trek was really tiring to say the least. But the effort was definitely worth. And more so because of the ‘dil shape vaali’ lake in the middle of the mountains! What a sight to behold! Everything felt very unreal! We were literally transported into another world… and I almost felt like being inside the CUG of LOTR or something! It was truly an out-of –world experience.

And the surprises refused to cease. We reached the topmost point to meet a French woman cooling her heels off there! She came alone, and for the second time! It takes 1 hour to reach the lake and it is a trek of 2 more hours to the top of the peak, and she started late the day before and had to stop at the lake. And this day she made it to the top and was reading a book relishing it every second. And she replied in the affirmative when asked about scaling the Alps and this was her first trek in India. And when asked how she managed it alone, she had this to offer – ‘Yes, I know. Indians don’t like being alone’. I sheepishly defended this by saying – ‘It is not that we don’t like to be alone, but we are not much used to it!’ And after that the trek downhill did not take as much of our energy as it did of our time.

The next day held lots of promise with us yet to see ‘Edakkal’ caves and the promised river rafting in the river surrounding the mystic Kuruva Islands. We were lucky to have started that early in the day because the caves attract an average of 1000 people per day! When we started our second and then easy trek with our guide, the friend who somehow fought her way up the Chemabara peak refused to take one step further than the caves. The set up was like this. The caves were at around 900ft from ground and there was another trail leading up to this peak, some 1000ft more. So all other ‘experts’ after the previous day experience set out to conquer yet another peak. Another of the various surprises was in store for all of our ‘trekking’ minds. There was no flora or vegetation on the mountain except for a few stray strands of wild grass. All we had was slightly steep rock surfaces and another rocky and tortuous path with foot marks as the only trail to follow!

The ‘Edakkal’ caves history was very fascinating. Literally Edakkal means – ‘eda’ is in between and ‘kal’ is stone. The caves are supposed have been formed 30000 yrs ago due to a huge earthquake and the setting of the caves got it its name. And people of that time had inhabited this place, leaving exotic cave images for our cameras! It felt great to be a part of another time! The comic duo continued there antics to the top of another peak and we were all having a whale of a time. There was time for a bit of shopping where people got their hands on to coffee, tea powder and some artifacts.

With no time to lose, we decided to skip lunch and head straight for the inviting Waters of the river that leads to the Kabini in Kerala. But to our initial disappointment we were told we would have to wait for 2 days to go river rafting. And when we crossed 30mts across the river by a boat, we got irked when someone told us there was a land trail further down which we could try when going back!!! Grrrrrr…! And there were ticket cabins placed everywhere on these ‘islands’ and we had to pay every time we crossed a tiny piece of land or water! But nothing could distract us from the view being presented before our eyes. Yet again the ‘Predator’ feel was induced in us in these untamed forests that we had to walk across and we were specifically told that there was a high risk of getting lost, which made it more exciting.

And the best was yet to come… We all reached an innocuous end of one of the islands and decided it was time to head back home, not to risk getting late. That was when an elderly inhabitant of one of the islands suggested a different trail that would lead us to the first island that we crossed on boat. The best part here was we had to cross the river, which shallow enough with rocks under the surface for us to cross by foot. Though the rocks had a fair bit of moss on them, we all collectively set out on a journey, we dint know would take us more than an hour! Albeit the experience being great, we lost our way and were hopping from one island to other without knowing which direction we were heading! And in the middle of nowhere, when we were trying to get to one of the islands there came along another senior citizen. He had all of us baffled when he just got into the water and went past us to the other coast in 2 minutes flat! And he also waved back! It was then that we realized how ridiculously easy the locals found it to cross the very path we were bring so timid about crossing. But we eventually found the path back to the boat that would take us back to the mainland.

All of us concurred that each adventure surpassed the earlier one in surprise and thrill and overall the trip was once in a lifetime experience!!!

Visit http://wayanad.nic.in/ to get a glimpse at what I am raving about!

Sachin is GOD, again...!

2005-12-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

Passion triggered like nothing else. The master made it to the 35th! And I know it’s a pit stop! WOW! 'Sachin's batting is amazing' is a seriously wanting understatement!!!

And I just went on musing…looking at the Aus-Kiwi match explode, about how the tournaments get named! What with such a gallery of greats in the Indian team now[;)], what will tournaments of the future be named? Like the ones now called Border-Gavaskar trophy… am taking my guesses!

Tendulkar – Waugh trophy

Dravid – Lara trophy

Murali – Warne trophy

Inzamam – Vettori trophy

Flintoff – Kallis trophy

Saurav – Gilchrist trophy

[I suddenly want Saurav to bounce back like hell and score a couple of centuries!!!]

Quirky guesses I know… but just having fun guessing!

Is life fair? Was it meant to be at all?

2005-11-27T13:23:00.000-08:00

I have always been regarded lucky, be it among immediate family or friends. At an age where I dint grasp the meaning of luck, I would reassure myself that I was indeed lucky. The time when my mom asked me to go down the road to get vegetables, the hawker would just pass across our house. How darn lucky me! And the next time, when it is my turn to mop the floor [due to prolonged absence of the maid], I sulk and pick up the mop… and out of thin air the maid appears…wow! What luck! Such trivialities were enough to convince me I was luckiest. And not recently but for some good time now, am ruing the ‘luck’ I have. Maybe I have come to terms with reality, but isn’t everyone considered lucky than some others at some point of time? I can immediately count a minimum of four instances I was really unlucky – like wanting to say at that moment ‘only if I were lucky enough ____’. And so could any of us I know! Is it just that bad luck is omnipresent, and the appearance of the Lady in our life is a reprieve from the drudgery?

When should I really consider myself lucky? When I escaped The Tsunami, or on a broader spectrum, when I consider that I am in the safe-mode living of school-engineering-work rather than toiling it out to face uncertainties on a daily basis? Instead I find so many instances to consider myself unlucky, love life for an instance. But in retrospect, I definitely have to admit that God has been kind to me on most counts, providing a cushion to fall back on whenever needed.

Recent events have sent me into a gloom tizzy. The number of obituaries I have heard in the last 2-3 months really exceeds the number I would have heard in years. And I am just talking about the people I know. I don’t want to start about the natural tragedies wreaking havoc around the globe. Why did it all have to happen? Does a father of two girls have to go in a bad car accident? Or does this father have to get smashed up early in the morning when dropping his son home? What about this successful entrepreneur who suffers a sudden hemorrhage to leave a young and bereaved wife with a one year old in hand?! Where is the luck all these people need? I am seriously short of words to say something to these people. And this not to console them, they don’t need any consoling, but just reassurance. But I feel the hollow in my words when I tell them – ‘time will heal it all’ or ‘this will also pass’ etc. My logic that everything happens for a reason just flies out of the window! And still am unsure how all will fall into place? Failure I can come to terms with but death, it still baffles me!

After a long hiatus I would not have preferred this incoherent blog entry, but I could not contain myself! How do I start to believe again? I got no clue!

Oblivion

2005-09-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

It is not so very uncharacteristic of me not to be blogging for this long. But it would be real uncharacteristic if it was that I did not have anything to say all these days. I could go on to say that there were so many things I would have wanted to scream about in the past couple of months, but it would not be inappropriate to say I chose not to write anything.

Quoting from another blog – “….not going to make this into a personal blog and describe the trials and tribulations of my life. After all, who does not have troubles? ...” - I am holding onto the above line albeit only temporarily.

Some things happen so fast, and leave you gasping for breath. It would take time for whatever happened to really ‘sink’ in. And when a series of such events bombard you, primal traits come to the fore. And my Cancer traits put me into a shell, hence the scarcity of words on this site for a long time (which might continue for some more time too).

And I guess this entry would have to sit on this site claiming to be one of the few where ‘nothing’ was actaully said or discussed!

PS: I like the title ‘Kabhi al vida Naa Kehna’ :)

finger numbing!

2005-08-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.dontclick.it/

only if u have lotsa time to waste!

I LOVE INDIA

2005-08-15T10:23:00.001-07:00

I live in India

I will die in India

The truth

2005-07-26T00:22:00.000-07:00

here i go agian... pasting something i read. but i guess i do this not because i cant write it, but because the article puts whatever i want to say so very well. i am only pasting excerpts here...

the reference - http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2005/jul/25rashmi.htm

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In Nivedita's mind, going to college and having a boyfriend are becoming firmly interconnected. And no, she doesn't mean 'friend who is a boy' (which she has plenty of, already).

This college = boyfriend equation is something picked up from the movies and television she's been exposed to. Not that I don't try to make sure she watches stuff 'appropriate for her age' but hell, even Popeye and Mickey Mouse have girlfriends...

What I want her to internalise is this: It's wonderful if you do happen to meet and vibe with someone in a special way when you join college. And it's perfectly okay if you don't. And that 'everyone has a boyfriend' is not the right reason, at all.

I, for one, know I was in love with the idea of being in love. My first foray into Boyfriendland was an absolute disaster! The bloke was a good looking, crew cut NDA cadet and had a nice bike. But he was an absolute ditz in the IQ and ethics department.

Yet, even when I knew he wasn't quite the guy I should be wasting my time on, it was very hard to break up. Because 'someone' is better than 'no one'.

Which is wrong. 'No one' is better than a relationship that lacks respect.

You might think that this is something everyone knows, but I see many young people stuck in these kind of relationships -- justifying them for this very same reason.

The greatest love of all, as Whitney Houston once sang, is learning to love yourself. And that, dear Nivedita, is what I want for you before you go out and find yourself a boyfriend...

And yes, boys do really want 'only one thing'… I know that statement is going to draw a lot of flak so here's a more scientific explanation.

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In the beginning

God -- whichever one you believe in -- created a virus in the image of man. And woman. Now the trick to spreading the virus quickly and effectively was to have it replicate on its own.

So He invented sex. Yes, I will refer to God as 'He' because I think our Creator must have been a guy. Had it been a woman, She certainly would've given us periods annually -- not every month!

But you see, God's primary motive in adding the sex angle was not pleasure but reproduction. The fact that it was pleasurable offered the necessary incentive to undertake the activity.

As an added safety feature, God gave man a reproductive organ with a mind of its own. One that did not always and necessarily obey the commands from the High Command.

This hardwiring has complicated life for Modern Day Man. Say you meet a nice girl, and there is a mutual attraction. The High Command says, Wait! Take it easy. Get to know her. Be a gentleman.

But whether he likes it or not, the 'reproduce' circuit is also switched on and it sends really powerful signals...

Doesn't this also happen to women? Well, some believe it did in the Caveman era, but centuries of social conditioning, Mills & Boon novels and mushy films have had their evil effect. It does look, though, that God must have wired us differently to begin with.

First of all, since women were the ones stuck with the unwanted side effect -- "Badhaai ho, aap maa banne waali hain (Congratulations, you are going to become a mother)" -- they were bound to be much more cautious and see a big red STOP sign.

Advances in birth control have partially taken care of that factor, but it goes deeper.

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'The One Thing'

The point is that a girl needs affection, understanding and emotion -- after which sex may follow.

However, many young women end up having a physical relationship hoping to get their core needs fulfilled later. Only to find that doesn't always happen. And when it doesn't, it's extremely hurtful and demeaning.

Because the guy may actually just be scratching his reproductive itch, and have no emotions for her to begin with.

Now you may argue that sex will lead to an emotional bonding. Possible, but dicey. Guys do have a concept of women who they will sleep around or 'have fun' with, and women who 'mean more'. Women for whom they feel something in their brains and not just in their briefs.

Even in more 'liberated' countries, the casual and meaningless sexual encounter may be common but not necessarily fulfilling for the woman. A recent report from the UK reveals that, despite the fact that both men and women experience their first intercourse at age 16, there remain gender differences in the experience of the event.

Women are twice as likely as men to regret their first experience of intercourse and three times as likely to report being the less willing partner.

Something to keep in mind before you make your decision...

And finally...

Coming back to my original bit of advice for Nivedita: Make sure your boyfriend respects you and loves you for who you are, not just how you look.

And if I ever have a son I will tell him the same, although in a slightly different way: Make sure your girlfriend is someone you would feel proud enough to bring home and introduce to me.

Someone who makes you feel good -- and feels good.

Not that you won't make mistakes, like I did.

But it helps to know what it is you're really looking for … before setting off to find it in the first place.

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My thoughts ---

and what i think is .... the author is absolutely right when she says... all of us could make mistakes anytime. but knowing that we will... and being concious of it matters!

Why do i think this is true?! Or is it not?!

2005-07-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

Why are Indians such hypocrites?

We're Indians. We don't kiss. Kissing is what people outside India do. We just smile shyly at the people we love. Watch our many movies for proof.

We are all heterosexual. Homosexuals live outside our borders. We encourage our media to explore sexuality. We accept alternative sexualities, even though we are all convinced they do not exist.

Few of us undress fully while making love. Undressing is what people outside India do. We are content with a little wiggling and maybe a few post-coital cigarettes. Sex is, after all, a dirty word. We don't think about sex. It's never on our minds. We think pure thoughts at all hours.

We love cricket. It's because we're so good at it. It's because our cricketers pour their hearts into every game. Other sports are not worthy of our attention. Other sportsmen do not pour their hearts out into their games. Other sportsmen are not worthy of endorsing our brands of footwear, aerated drinks or car batteries. Our cricketers alone deserve our adoration. Our cricketers and our movie stars, that is. Our movie stars are intelligent. They study all scripts carefully and are always unwilling to propagate stereotypes. Our movie stars live clean, wholesome lives and are therefore perfectly suited to deliver clean, wholesome messages to the masses that adore them.

We are a patient, tolerant people. We accept all religions and tolerate all kinds of behaviour. We never riot. Rioting, too, happens only outside our borders. We keep the peace at all hours. We do not typecast other religions or provoke sentiments. Watch our many movies for proof.

All Indians are our brothers and sisters. This is why we respect all women. This is why women in our major cities can do as they like and travel, unaccompanied, at all hours. This is why our policemen are highly respected, for the protection they offer all women. We like women to have minds of their own. Women who lead their own lives need not fear humiliation at our hands. We do not brand them whores. Look at our many female film stars for proof. We respect them all. The ones who choose to do as they like on screen, as well as the ones who do not.

We have never felt the need to keep women at home, closeted or covered in any way. Bold women are never a threat to us. The idea of female sexuality is welcomed and holds no threat for our calm countrymen. We do not ask women to wear clothes we choose for them. We respect them irrespective of whether they're dressed in nine-yard saris or nine-inch mini-skirts.

Education is important for us. We respect our teachers. We encourage our sons and daughters to take up teaching as a profession. We pay our teachers well. We pay our teachers on time. We teach our sons that teaching is not just a job for women. We respect our system of education. We encourage our sons and daughters to get an education here, not abroad, because we believe in the system. The few who graduate abroad are encouraged to come back here, to make life even better than it already is for themselves and their countrymen.

We are proud of our culture. We uphold it every week. Our heritage is precious. This is why we protect it well. Our monuments are well cared for. Our museums are well funded. Our curators are literate and well paid. We do not allow people to encroach on sites like the Taj Mahal or the Qutub Minar. Graffiti is not allowed. Vandalism is a myth.

We treat our sons and daughters equally. We allow our daughters to marry when they wish to. We allow our daughters to pick the men they want to spend their lives with. We encourage our daughters to think for themselves. We believe they have the intelligence to make wise decisions. This is also why we encourage them to study further.

We love our country. We don't want to live anywhere else. We don't work towards the idea of leaving it and never coming back. Because we're Indians. Hypocrites, all.

Courtesy: http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/jul/12lp.htm

The ‘Bajji’ tradition

2005-07-11T05:39:00.000-07:00

I had ‘bajji’ today after a long time! The taste on my lips brought back tasty memories of college!

Go to any college in Tamilnadu (not the ones in Chennai, ‘cos I don’t know about them) at around 5pm in the evening and the chances that you would find the hostel dwellers in their rooms are meager. And I am not suggesting that these guys would be involved in healthy activities for the evening such as sports or be in the gymnasium, but almost all of them can be found hanging around the 3-4 ‘bajji kadais’ that surround the college. The ones in our college were famously known as ‘Akka kadai’, ‘Priyadarshani’ and ‘Mettu-kadai’. All typical Thamizh names; and the evening time ‘hot bajjis themselves! Slurrrp! All discussions outside hostel invariably happened over these ‘bajji’ sessions. It is a famous 'paarambaryam' (tradition) that is followed in every college goer's life. The taste that lingers on after the bajjis and a ‘lemon’ or tea / coffee is a class apart.

But our bajji sojourn came to an abrupt end. Thanx to a horizontally challenged friend of mine, who came down with ‘typhoid’ in the middle of the year our daily visits dwindled down to monthly visits and we would have had the bajjis twice in our final year, is my guess! And this friend never touched it again after the episode is a point to note – ‘cos he aint the type saying no to victuals!

So when I tasted bajji today, it was a rush of the ‘feel’, the taste! No amount of description can put taste in the readers mind can it?!

Sky is the limit!

2005-07-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

Happy B-Day to me!!! :D

Burp - 1

2005-07-03T05:07:00.001-07:00

"The airport looks so clean today - maybe because there aren't so many people around!"

To smack or not to smack?

2005-06-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

The kid across the street was having a jolly time when I was crossing the road. He was playing in the pile of construction-sand that was in front of his house. Just then I heard his mom shriek from inside, calling him inside. I was already walking up my stairs when she came running out and hoisted the 3/4 old kid onto her hip. (holding just a single slender hand, almost ripping it off!) I turned almost uninterestedly when I heard the ‘SMACK’. Horrified I turned to look and saw the kid get a flurry of slaps on both his cheeks, while the mom bounced up the stairs into her home, always pushing the kid from behind! I was bewildered watching this sudden outburst!

Yes, I don’t know what the kid might have done before, how it behaves usually and I can’t go telling people not to hit their children!! But a 3 year old kid? Did the kid deserve all those smacks right on the face?! I don’t think so! What I was thinking was, yeah all or most of us have at various stages would have ‘got it’ from our parents, for whatever reasons and now on retrospect it might have been deserved too! If the kid is old enough to know what he is doing, and knowing what he is doing is wrong, still keeps continuing doing the same thing a strong rebuke or a smack would help put things right. But the other day when I saw what I saw, I felt pity! I definitely thought the small kid dint deserve such a whacking for just idling in mud for a few minutes. I wanted to run across the street, pull the kid off from the mother, give her a few slaps, console the kid and return back! But I decided I’ll blog it! :(

It’s a state of mind

2005-06-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

A revelation of sorts today! Music was always a passion, but my foyer never extended much into the English domain. Ms. V kept persisting it should. Gave her reasons why I dint venture, but the Scorpion she is, sent me few songs over. Love songs at that!

All of it made sense to me; brought me to an awesome state of mind, from the weary one I entered office with! So when music transports one into a totally different realm, it’s the state of mind that changes! And today’s feeling was bliss! Maybe blame it on the lyrics – ‘When love and Hate collide’ Def Leopard, ‘When you love someone’ Bryan (the God) Adams, ‘Say something stupid like I love you’ Robbie Williams with Nicole!!!

Smitten!

Gracias’ Senora’!

Here a blog, there a blog

2005-06-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

I need to blog.(Biting nails) I need to blog.(Biting skin off finger tips) I need to blog.(Just got up from a deep sleep after having dreamt that Rehman is a guest at my place and get to spend a day with him!) I need to blog.

So here I blog whatever happened the past week or so... whatever needed to be remembered! It was Chennai trip again, and one worth remembering too! The trip to Tirupathi on 3rd June with the whole family was a grand gala affair! Whether it was someone bellowing their worries straightaway to the Almighty’s ‘silai’ or someone who started choking, having difficulties breathing because they had started laughing so much, all of it was fun! There were the usual harsh moments too, those that occur when more than 10-14 adults go on a trip, but the fun time all of us had surpassed it all making the trip a memorable one.

4th June was mom’s birthday. And this was also the day when I got a precious gift from my sister – a digital camera!!! Wooh! There were lotsa cakes to eat and a lot more snaps taken. Breakfast at the new Saravana Bhavan joint in Ashok Nagar was just great! It was made another day to remember by my bro – both of us skidded off with the bike on West Mambalam road, thanx to his excellent biking skills! Still have abrasions on my leg L $#@%^R^%#

5th June was pack up day. Darn....! Had to come to office for night shift. And it was farewell time to Giri too, ‘cos am yet undecided whether I will go back to Chennai soon enough to see him off to Ahmedabad. Another breakfast session at new Saravan Bhavan with Giri, Swetha, Divya and Aarthi went majorly uneventful.

Though most would find this entry drab, I guess I can excuse myself. Tired of traveling for a whole month – schedule would look like this!!!

Blr-Hyd-Blr-Chn-Blr-Mys-Blr-Chn-Blr-Chn-Tirupathi-Chn –Blr

Poor me!

So need to gather myself to come up with something new. And will do! Adios till then!

Indulgence is heavenly!

2005-05-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

Chennai trip

Day – 1

09:00 PM – Chennai touchdown time
10:00 PM – Night show – Woodlands theatre – ‘Kanaa Kandein’, with Giri, J and BK!

Neach! Vaazkaye vaaznthu thallaren po!

Day – 2, 3

Had a blast with my makkal – mama, mami, perimma, perippa, cousins Aarti, Abi and Kartik, my bro (!!!) and parents! Great time! There were ‘sillarai’ errands to run at home, which I did without even a trace of a frown and am now thanking almighty for the same! Other enjoyables were those sketches I helped Aarti with, for her fashion designing paper!Oh...and those choclates......'slurrppp'! Met Swetha just for getting hold of the ‘stupid dog book’ and our Coorg snaps! Have they come out well or what! My ‘ponnu paakara foto’ – perfect. And yeah, shouldn’t forget to mention J’s treat at Raam’s Milky Way – the idli manchurian, the paani poori, Nut-O-Delight was all ecstasy! As I told J, this treat will be remembered. I was actually smiling to myself because I was back at Raam’s within the next hour with Jenni, Prakash, Satya and other friends eating other flavors of ice creams! Worth remembering ain’t it?!

Day – 4

Today was wedding day – my cousin Karthik, who got married in Hyd, was hosting an evening reception in Chennai. Still the errands won’t cease, and I still managed a power-lunch-coffee with Swetha at Java Greens discussing ‘a bus journey and other issues’. ;o)

Then came the celebration of colors, people and great fun! And what color I chose for sweltering Chennai – a black Sherwani! Poor me, I was as drenched as Karthik, the wedding boy, was in his two piece suit when it was all over! The music band that played melodious numbers as entertainment was pretty ok. Little did I know when I invited Giri to the wedding that he is going to slip into their group so easily! He almost knew everyone of the song band, calling them mami and all! Master stroke of the day was when he combined with a mami to sing ‘Konja Neram’ from Chandamukhi for us! Neach! I should definitely mention my cousin Abi’s singing efforts, though Giri had a piece of advice for her. She rendered ‘Kannodu Kaanpathelaam’ from Jeans and the wind-up song of the day - our very own MS’ ‘Kurai onrum illai; Marai moorthi kanna’.

Some serious discussions were happening in between all the fun among my bro, Giri and me. But inevitably I had to be at so many places at the same time. So I decided to continue with it later and headed straight to Giri’s place from the mantapam!! Both of us slept at 3am after discussions that started at 11pm! The discussion put lots into perspective and I am starting to enjoy these ‘sessions’ nowadays!

Day – 5

With all the hulla bulla over and only couple of niggling errands remaining, I was preparing for a full rest day, having made plans for the latter part of the day. But Moore’s law held me today. New errands, some utterly pathetic, kept propping up and had to do them grudgingly. All plans from sleep in the after noon, distance-biking in the evening, watching ‘Bose – the forgotten hero’, all crash-landed for various petty and irritating reasons! Not the best 5th day I could have had in Chennai. Anyways, there was one more day left, and slept peacefully through the night looking forward to day 6.

Day – 6

Having nothing to do but for the last of errands, I dint have any plans actually, which is how I usually function too! And a trip to KK Nagar with Giri set the tone for the day, and a promising one at that! Both of us were literally stunned looking at the ‘Vallavan’ posters – dei Simbhu nee oru ‘yechai payyan' da! Anyways, Giri reminded me that it might actually be the last chance I get to really meet BK before his sojourn! Next thing we were at BK’s place cooling our heels when I just casually asked why the ‘Bose’ plan for yesterday dint work out. And immediately plans were made for all of us to be at Devi theatre at 2pm!! And what time are we doing this – 1 pm!! I rushed back home for a shower and lunch and actually got 10 minutes late for the show, faithful BK waiting for me outside.

I keep getting these comments from so many people these days that I think almost all films are good. I have been maintaining to my roommate that it might actually be that because I keep watching only quality films. And Shyam Benegal’s ‘Bose – the forgotten hero’ is a natural inclusion into my must-see list. This is hugely influenced by the mind blowing music / rerecording of ‘thala’ Rehman! Those who haven’t still listened to the songs / not got the cassette yet, I pity you! As I am writing this, I have listened to ‘Ekla Chalo’ 5 times, ‘Ghoomparani’ 4 times and am listening to Azaadi for the 5th time today! This was the first ever film I have watched in a theatre where the whole credits was rolled till the end. The song Azaadi started playing with the end of the film and lasted till the end of credits roll-up and the very few present in the theatre were all standing on their feet in total rapture, consuming the song and the original snapshots / reels of Netaji that were scrolling on the left of the screen. It was as if the National Anthem was being played, because each and every person stood for all of 5 minutes without batting an eyelid, engrossed by the music! Maybe Giri’s quote would suffice the feeling here for me – ‘Patriotism is a better feeling than Love!’. Every film lover, music lover please do watch this film!!!

Returning from the movie, it was almost time to start back to Bangalore. But another rendezvous made it a definitive evening to remember! I was smiling to myself in the bus, as I am doing right now writing all this up! Here I would repeat what I told my cousin Lakshmi yesterday when she asked how my life is going – ‘naa ennoda vaazkaye vaaznthu thallindu irukken, fully enjoying every moment of it’. Indulgence is heavenly!:o)

A whiff of freshness!

2005-05-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

The people who visit this place already know my inclination towards travelogs. And basically being a person who likes to travel, you could expect more and more travelogs from me, just like this one. This happened when I was on my way from Bangalore to Hyderabad to attend my cousin's wedding.

The instance:
This cute looking girl in her teens bubbling with energy, boards the train with her mom after waving 'bye's to couple of male species who accompanied her to the station. That’s when ‘that’ eye contact starts and it goes through the typical I-look-when-u-not-looking routine. But this time I decided I ain’t letting go, and kept looking only towards her!

Anyways, this coy exchange lasted from 6pm, when the train started, till when it was time to sleep! She is on the side-upper berth and me on the upper berth, right angles to her. So still the eye contact doesn't suffer, but for the glances her mom was throwing in my direction from the side lower berth!

The incident:
Some fellow, don’t know who, drops a crumpled visiting card on her seat. She picks it up and doesn't seem to grasp anything. With a quizzical looks in her eyes, she just passes the card to the person just an arm-stretch distance away, looking at her, me! I just shrug and return it back. She simply shreds the whole thing into some 15 pieces and throws them away. This nothing moment sets a rapport between us, and I don’t intend leaving it just with the start. So when some guy just walks across, I jus look at him and then her with a question on my face. She just nods a 'No-i-dont-think-so' look on her face! So now we ain’t no more stealing looks at each other, but proceed to linger on on 'that' look. I top it with a curl of my lip every time I think appropriate! :o)

The charm:
She tries to sleep and she can't which is evident from how many times she sits up, holding the small pillow of hers. So there she is reclining with the pillow on her lap, hair loose on her frail shoulders and I immediately pull out a small paper I had in my bag and put down a sketch of her! From her angle, all she can see is I am incessantly staring at her!! She just asks me 'what is it?' with an upwards tilt of her head. I just silently pass the piece of paper across... which has gotta pen-sketch of a girl reclining on a train seat and a 'you' written below it! Ha...! You should have been there to see her eyes light up at that very moment! Now fully encouraged, I ask her name which she writes on the piece of paper as 'Abhinaya'(Sweet name!) and passes it on to me. We continue this silent 'conversation, she asks me my name, and I give it in writing in the same piece of paper. Then with a killer smile she returned the piece of paper, but I said she can have it! I had a hard time taking eyes off her lips from where she mouthed a silent 'Thank you'. ;o)

Just then I was reminded of the song,

'paarvai rendum pesi kondal, baashai oomai aagiduma?'
(When the eyes talk to each other, does language go speechless?)

The twist:
She had a slimy string running from behind her ear to somewhere inside her collar, because she is partly hearing impaired. And she is also as speech-deprived as Rani Mukharji was in 'Black'!!! So even when language ceases and sound is cut off, I just realized there is so much else to live for!

The other things I found out from her through actions were that she was the third child and she was waving 'bye' to her eldest brother. And she is in her 12th standard. Immediately pulled out my mobile to make a note of it all, for later blogging! Also was reminded of the recent rendezvous Girish ran into. Life is to be remembered by the moments that take your breath away! Ain't it?

Rivertree

2005-05-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

The night was young, we sat on a rough-hewn stone bench under a small parijatha tree, this Adept and I, outside a small village shrine. He was a young man, but on whose shoulders rested the wisdom of seers. The night was brilliant with starlight; the small range of mountains loomed dark and quiet in the background. Some distance away shone the light from the village electric street lamp, casting pools of light into a beautiful night. We sat in silence, the Adept in perfect ease, and I, used to city noises, fidgeting in the silence. We took the silence in for a few minutes and heard the sounds of the night coming from the jungle nearby. Then in a quiet voice he asked me, "How are you?" I replied in what I thought was a learned manner, "God's in His Heaven and All's right with this world". He looked at me, smiled and gently asked, "Where is this Heaven of His?" This rattled me and I muttered a vague reply hoping to put him off.

"In the Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna 'I am everything and everything is me'. Meaning that all of the creation is the Lord and the Lord is all of creation. If that be true, doesn't the Lord reside in you, me and the tree above us?" "You mean the Lord is also in a lowly worm like me?" I asked in false modesty. I did not get a reply immediately; he was staring straight ahead into the middle distance lost in the silence around us. "Look at it this way", he suggested, slowly turning towards me, "since the time this whole universe was created, there has been only one version of you. If He had wanted He could have created a million copies of you, yet since the Big Bang to the end, He created only one of you. If that is not a manifestation of the divine, what is?" and fell back into silence.

The enormity of his suggestion did not immediately sink in; slowly I came to notice my breath had become quieter and the silence was enjoyable. As I heard the breeze playing through the fronds of the coconut trees, it slowly came to me - He was part of me and I a part of Him. "It is not egotistic", he said, as if reading my mind, "to say He is part of me. In fact, it is a very humble statement to acknowledge that Iswaran is a part of you. Then you become a part of all creation." I felt so different, I was so special because there was only one of me in several billion years and yet I was that which made up every thing.

"Modern science says 'Matter is energy and energy is matter' and this energy is everywhere and in everything. Isn't that what our ancient seers had been saying?" he added, giving my modern mind something to think about. My mind took a few minutes to digest such radical thinking; I kept watching the stars as a few bats flitted past catching insects.

The stars, the bats, the insects and I were all part of the same thing? My friend sat in his quite reverie, plainly comfortable with himself and the whole world. He gave me a drink of water from his water bottle and said, "You don't take Iswaran from some place else and bring Him in to you. He is already there, you just have to increase your awareness of His presence within you."
The top of the little shrine near us, seems to shine by itself, as I struggled and came to terms with this beautiful idea. I became connected all at once with this universal energy and all of creation. There was a great secure feeling of being one with everything and seeing myself as part of this universe. I have, like most people, worried about the future and feared about past mistakes coming to haunt me. Life seemed to be a big burden, whenever I felt so lonely, so small and lost in this world. In an electric wave of relief, all those nagging worries, fears and doubts fell away (at least for the moment) and there was only sheer bliss; pure delight in realising that I was a part of Iswaran and not apart.

"Now tell me," he said, breaking the silence "Where is His Heaven?" My voice came out in a croak as I barely whispered, "Iswara! You are incredible". The wind rustled through the leaves above and the night fell silent as if all of creation was in agreement.

P. Raghunandan

.......
This is an article from one of the many brilliant 'Folio's that The Hindu brought out between 1998 and 2001. Though there might have been so many other really impressive articles in all of them, i still remember this article from the Folio named 'Faith'. Bringing out such stuff is exactly why i like The Hindu... it is just 'non-pareil'!!

A blog on blogs and bloggers!

2005-04-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

How much does a blog resemble the blogger? Very much! Each of the blogs is essentially what n how the blogger wud like the stuff he reads to be! So the blog is the blogger itself!

For instance i know this awesome blogger who pens down moments of life as they happen... concocting great blogs with each incident! A R.K.Laxman cartoon jumps up to one's mind with every blog of his!

Another thinks he is a far realtive to Raja RamMohan Roy... being just one step short of liberating India and the world from social issues! Though i wud have exaggerated here, most of his blogs contain stuff that remind u of the centre page of Hindu!

Yet another interesting blogger has brilliant coherence in his thought line and is a zany thinker who wudn't restrict his writings to the normal. He extravagates and with style... an angry young man with a thinking head on his shoulder is the precise piture that pops up into u'r head!

Ah! the one that blogs on anything at all! All the logs have this i-dont-give-a-damn or u-can-go-to-hell attitude in them, yet making a good reading. Here is an absolute freak who wants to and will have it her way!

The magic about this particular blog is that, to the junta visiting here, the identities wud have just sprung up from the one-line description i have given above! So here's to celebrate blogs and blogging!Hurrah!Blogging rocks!!!

Those left behind... catch up and start blogging else catch u later!

Zoo in the night time?!

2005-04-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

Never go to the zoo in the night! Once we all went, we being my mom, me and some other strange characters... strangely resembling some cousins of mine! Its pitch dark and we see the animals, few of them. But there might have been more and they all see us! We all recline on the highest rows of some kind of viewing arena seats and focus our inhibited visions into the dark night. Suddenly the trees above us start spinning or mebbe it the arena seats that are spinning!!! And with every revolution of the arena.. strange animals slip from the darkness above and fall into our laps! I just see something slimy and green fall onto my neighbour's lap! Next is me...and i get a footlong creepy scaly thing with yellow eyes on my lap! yeeeew!!!

This vicious circle seems to blur past and a strong cold wind keeps ruffles my hair, parching my lips! Then with a sudden jolt i wake up to find myself travelling on a bus! Slowly i realise that i had been having this incredible dream on my way back to Bangalore from Chennai! And exactly when that slimy thing hit my lap is when i get up, almost in a state of quasi-conciousness. Then there is this flurry of thouhgts i usually have when am woken up from a good sleep, even if had slept for a few minutes only! Immediately i pull out my Nokia-6800 and start typing away... to the utter astonishment of the fellow sleeping(actually not sleeping) beside me! He just stared at the bright screen in my hand for a few seconds and tried to sleep again.

The thought that struck me was Giri talking about the best way to blog... blog on the go!! "Travel-blogs make the best writes" is what he said! And even i found it to be pretty exciting! But again, writing down one's dreams is another aspect... and the voluminous dreamer that i am i have to admit this is the firt time i tried it! The worst aspect is that the whole dream, so much would have happened in it, would just evaporate within seconds u are fully awake. Guess it will take a little effort and practice to retain them and write it down, but i can assure u it is pretty exciting!!

Also, i was reminded of Vairamuthi's lyrics - 'nooru kanavugal kandaaley, aaru kanavugal palikaatha?!!' (wont 6 dreams out of 100 i dream, come true?!). i know i wouldn't want this one to come true!!

Why our education system needs a fix!

2005-04-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

A must read artilcle! Impressed...!

http://in.rediff.com/money/2005/apr/06guest.htm

Well structured piece that set me thinking....what more there IS to life?!

Some quotes from the article -

'He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.' ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

'Money is like sugar, no point in hoarding it, it's usually goes bad, or you have to make quite unnecessary cakes to use it up.' ~ Charles Handy in his book The Empty Raincoat

'Disciplines are habit forming, define boundaries. The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.' -- Prof. O. Reilly

'The perfect form lies in the block of stone; all that is needed to chip away until it is revealed.' -- Michelangelo

'The only kingdom that makes any man a king is the kingdom of his own soul. The only power that has any real meaning is the power to better the world.' -- Gregory David Roberts in his book Shantaram.

Books Vs Movies ... ?

2005-04-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

There are movie buffs. There are book buffs. I am both, not with equal fervor though. But there are few people who enjoy just being either one! And the talk/arguement with such a person is what spawned this blog.

From every movie i watch, i would like to take home something. And that stands more so for a book too! And this person happens to be a 'book-ie' who thinks there is no point in people not knowing to read and just existing. According to her, anyone needs to know how to read to live rather than just 'exist'. This was it! And it dint end here too! She went on to suggest that books are more expressive than movies!!! If i was being me, i would have dismissed the whole idea of continuing with a pointless argument. Pointless because someone who is capable of thinking that up will never get the point! Where the argument ended is inconsequential here, because what set me thinking was that content of a book or a movie that gets imprinted in me, changing me forever. And as i just commented on J's blog y'day, when u read a good work again or watch a real good movie a second time, u see it in different light. Some part of it stands out this time that just passed notice the first time, or rather failed to make an impression then. My point on his blog was whether this happens due to the mood we are when we go through a book or a movie? Or is it what we call the attention-to-detail of the creator of that piece that we are appreciating, one of details drawing our attention everyother time.

Now back to that argument, where this person insisted a book can be more expressive because the reader is free to visualize the scene rather than a movie where things are shown and u have to see it that way only! But again, she failed to understand that a book doesn't have light/sound in it! It is an interesting point of contention because even with movies I would prefer those that are subtle in thier content leaving a little bit for the viewer to elaborate. So would a book or a movie tell a story better?

Now we can take numerous examples to explore this tiff. But the one i chose that day was Jurassic Park. Anyone who read the book would have had a great experience thinking it out, what with Crichton getting techie too! But the sheer brilliance of the spectacle that Spielberg brought in front of eyes takes the cake according to me! Another great effort from this director is Minority Report. Making that movie from a book, actually a fiction novel aint easy at all, but he did and i liked it! Countering this point would be efforts like, mebbe Sphere (took some time to think that up!) to some extent, where the read gives you a better feel of what the author intended to say than how the movie portrays it. But me being more 'movie-guy' than a book one, i liked Sphere too anyways ;0)! And me being more a movie guy might be due to the fact that i have watched more movies than read books. Also the books i have read are not diverse enough to rate myself a buff!

Alright, even if i read more books than watch movies, no one can convince me otherwise. A scene is always better described as an audio-visual than mere words!

PS:
the latest movie i saw was 'Million Dollar Baby'
the latest book i am still reading is 'Black Holes and Baby Universes' - Stephen Hawking

both have been revelations!

'YES' and 'NO'

2005-03-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

1) Do i like to work in night shift?

Darn 'No'!

2)Do i want to be born as someone else in next life?

Mebbe Kamal Hassan ('aduththa jenmathulayaavathu oru Kamal-a porakkanum'), if not i would be happy being me!

3)Do i think Giri 'n' J will get into IIM's?

Darn 'YES'

4)Do i think life sucks?

Not anymore! Never will...actually! Its jus that sometimes we suck n some-other-times we dont!

5)'She loves me'...'She loves me not'

I love her, i donno about her! ;0)

6)What do i think about the coupla new gals that joined y'day...sitting across the aisle?

Mmmm.....no comments!

7)Do i like the new blue car my father's bought?

Need to test-drive n say!

8)Do i know why i still keep writing in this blog ?

not even a vague idea!

9)Do i still believe 'Nothing lasts forever'?

(long answer...)

as i was explaining to someone the other day - my fav quote is 'A thing of beauty is a joy forever' by Keats....but again when we say nothing lasts forever, my fav quote gets negated!
So, my 'forever' will be as long as i live to see and all that will last forever can only be 'thoughts'!
So the answer is 'Yes' n 'No' !

The way she says...."Hey Mahesh"

2005-02-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

Every other time i call her up its the same cheerful "Hey Mahesh" i hear from her...! and the telephonic conversation goes on for hours that seem to pass like seconds!

Or the other times, the way she spawns innumerable chats with the charactarastic 'Hi porikki' and the chat meanders through heaven n hell, lasting for as long as i see light in a day! Can't yet seem to get enough of these sessions !

And again, those other occasions that start with a simple smiley and leads on to a full fledged flirt fiesta ; mind goes numb...time coagulates...! ha!

But then, those spitfire banters starting with the very proverbial 'hey duffer' or the very characteristic 'hey watsup?!' are the ones that last for seeming eternity without ever making as hard a mark as a shortlived bee-sting might leave! these will be there....always!

Ah! yeah....the ones that start with an innocuous SMS sayin....' What News?', triggering a flurry of SMS-s back and forth across states .... and usually ending in a call that goes on like a Rapid-fire Q&A session in a quiz, loaded with 'neach' one-liners and total crap too!

This was an attemt at cataloguing the various conversations i cherish having with my frends-femme ...! Have fun guessing who's who!

PS:
Courtesy - (Title and idea - Mr.Nettai)

Downright crazy.....n it works !!!

2005-02-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

>Here is a small gimmick to increase the size limit of your hotmail account
>from 2MB to 25MB subsequently to 250 MB.
>
>Login to your account
>Go to Options
>Click on Personal
>Go to My Profile
>Change Country to United States
>Wait for browser to Load US Settings
>Change state to Florida and Zip Code to 33332
>Click Update
>Click Continue
>Go to Language and Make sure it is English

>Paste this link in Same Browser :
>http://by17fd.bay17.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/AccountClose
>Wait until the screen says Your Hotmail account is closed and ready to be deleted.
>Click Close Account.
>Go Back to Login and relogin to ur Account immediately. (Else there is a chance of someone stealing your account, so login immediately)
>No email will be deleted from ur account and now ur account size limit
>increase to 25MB.
>After few days this will become 250 MB.

Flavor of all seasons.... Enraged

2005-01-25T22:52:00.000-08:00

When i came across this article on rediff, a thought jus passed my mind. Why does sensationalism hold sway these days? Or was it like this forever? Mebbe freinds with the fourth estate could explain this....

my question here is, why does every other issue have to be sensationalized, blurring the space between the worst n unwanted news, the mediocre and the really sensational news?!

i dont give a damn if Jen Aniston and Pitt split....but i do care a bit on how the Acharya case is progressing and i would defenitely want to know wat happened to Federer-Agassi clash! Ya now as i do the typing, i realise that priorities vary with peaople....mebbe it varies for the same person over a period of time...but i definitely remember i din't use to hate news as i do it now!

Accepted that if not for reporting of events, i wudn't have a clue of where n wats happening....but am irked at those news pieces that clinch the first-page for all the wrong reasons with the ones that might-a been actually useful going into a box in the 10-11th page!

Someone's gonnu watch Page-3 as i'm typin this.....so hope to get fitting replies to my outburst or atleast, if i think the film is as good as its rated, gimme ideas from the movie!!!

PS:
I hate Page-3.....n its not the movie am talkin abt.....i hate ToI's Page-3! (*puking* badly)....mebbe 'cos am a 'Hindu' man.....dont give a damn though!

A Class act...!

2005-01-21T20:41:00.000-08:00

The name u give to a 'Nayagan' portrayal of Kamal Hassan or a Perfect-10 by Nadia.C in the famous olympics

Here's the links to coupla articles by the irreplaceable Harsha ... a class act that he is!

http://www.espnstar.com/studio/studio_coldetail_1396421.html

http://www.espnstar.com/studio/studio_coldetail_1381153.html

reading his atrticles is an experience in itself! So that explains y am posting his views on my blog again.....n it wudn't be surprising if i do it again too!

Hail Harsha!

Admonition works...

2005-01-20T17:57:00.001-08:00

....if the person it is given to takes it in the right sense, or atleast tries to think on lines why he was admonished at all!

I found that out recently.

And this is among other things i found out recently too! The likes being

--> why a blog exists
--> why a man and a woman should live together
--> why it is absolutely necessary to write proper English in u'r blog, if u'r writing in English

et cetera ...

Am not going to address everything here, but the reason i had to write is the constructive admonition i got from my big bro! Emphasising why it is oft important to write sense and how correct grammer and good English can go a long way in it were put across to me in the usual harsh way by him. But again, habits die hard and i go on to give my own reasons. I state that all the blogging i have done here till now is when i am at office. So the max spare time i get is half an hour, within which i have to group all my thoughts, not curb but control my adrenaline rush that i get when i write and put in whatever i needed to blog! So i tell myself, people shouldn't actulally expect more than what they get here.

But as i said in the first line, being the person who ponders, i tried taking whatever was said in the right way and have gone beyond boundaries to make sure this entry is at the least spell-error free!

The other reasons for this blog, i daresay trivial, were a few
. Ms.V asked me to blog!
. Random Access threatened me into writing one, and if otherwise would have posted most of his songs here!
. My brother said - 'none of u'r blogs merit a comment from me yet'

Donno, to me blogging ain't a habit which is to be followed. i write when i feel like writing! and i can tell u it is near impossible to force oneself to write...![i tried and failed ;0( ]

Now, beacause i told soemone this blog will be about me and only me(like the others arn't!), here are somethings have been doing recently...

--> done with reading all 5 Harry Potter books at a stretch (J K R rocks!)
Have to....
--> start my spiritual sojourn with The Gita and follow it up with the Bible and Qoran..!
and the really most important one...
Live life!!!

and ya.............BLOG!!!

But somethings last for a lifetime...

2004-12-27T02:13:00.000-08:00

The first being LIFE itself....which i, and am sure some close frends have come to value more than we did earlier.

With the real close shave we had with the Grim Reaper(death) yesterday, i know it for sure that somethings like frends....and the memories associated with them will, at the least, last for our lifetimes.

Here is to narrate the incedent, 'cos i dint find any as yet in my buddies' blogs -

With the exception of the eccentric and a trifle unfathomable J and the workaholic BK, it was the gang of Ranga, Giri, Chetana, Vidya, Andy, Suri, Viswa(last minute extra fittings) and u'r truly who took up the wierd idea of visiting the beach pre-dawn and walloping in the waters until the sun came up. Though intimidating, I succeeded in the task of pulling up everybody from thier stupor before 5am on the, now-in-history, 26th of December. Unusually, Ranga who said he wudn't make it, called back for a pick up.....so no plans changed but for a glitch between when he said he wont come n when I did pick him up from his place. The effect of a proper pasting from his mom din't even last for a few minutes before all of us set on the ride of lives to the Beseant Nagar shores.

With the cranky happenings of the wee hour, Suri n me dfntly agreed that no police wud have doubted our Giri wasn't inebriated....he was on a high singing 'antha naal muthal intha naal varai' among other olden goldies in his coarse morning vioce. Everyone not reaching there together created but a flutter of 5 mins. After which all were in the mood, Giri again providing the spice with his supposed 'mouna - viratham', reasons for why he embarked into it known only to the Almighty...not even himself! With no idea of frolic into water in mind, i was the first to pull up my pants knee-high venturing into the inviting, salty, not-yet-glittery sea water.

But again, with the gang assembled there...peace wudn't have had a chance for more than few second. Suri, as expected, started it all with a premeditated push of me from behind, propelling me face-first into the water! Jus needing a reason to venture into water, he timidly agreed to my threats of pulling him alongside me....and atleast I, was as far as into the sea as where I wudn't have even imagined, in my earlier visits to the great watermass! And again, it din't take much time or effort to pull in Ranga also...with only Giri being allowed to continue his strangest of strange viratham.

Thinking and writing about all these...jus gives me the creeps, 'cos when all this was happening, we clicking scores of snaps (the one's for posterity) was when there happened to be a globally serious, literally earth-shattering quake that went 10kms deep (one-fifth of the total 'core' that we read in geaography). We had a whale of a time - Ranga, Suri and me being inside the waters for almost an hour, when actually the gargantuan tremor was sending shock waves at us!!! We not having an iota of idea wat was happening elsewhere....jus dismissing Suri's comment on some message he got from a frend informing him of a earthquake somewhere, not even bothering to laugh at it!

All had not ended with all of us boarding our bikes....there was yet one of our, shud i say popular, classmates to meet on the road, jus outside the beach. Now, with everyone agreeing that it wasnt' the best of the possible reunions, we drove bak home without a clue that we had actually run away from Death....missing the 10mts Tsunami water-walls, that shattered a whole coastline, by jus 10 or 20mins !!! We wudn't have had a 'mayir-yezha' chance if we had been were we were, a mere quarter of an hour ago!

Even the mention of great tremor measuring to 8.5 on the scale, in the news dint hamper our spirits...! All of us were heading to the long awaited Satyam theatre show, movie being the irreplaceable Gowarikar's 'Swades'. Half way thru the movie atleast most of us wud have gotten a call on the mobile from various patrs of the country, inquring about our status in Chennai....not one of them having a clue how near we were to the waters that sprang as high as three-stories of a modern building!!!

The visit to the temple with Girish gave me immense inner peace and strength, and the final touch was produced by a bus' stereo system bellowing 'yaar yaar sivam; nee naan sivam' at the Koyambedu bus stop!

As i was telling J, all this is going to take atleast a coupla weeks to sink in, but all i can think of is... some frends and the memories associated with them are here to stay....to last atleast for a lifetime . . .

Dreams i like to dream............

2004-12-14T02:42:00.000-08:00

Dreams

Everyone has dreams

Come true, just a few

Dreams of gold and riches

And houses and cars new

It hurts not, to dream

Yet hurts to see 'em shatter

But dream I did anyways

My spirits, it did not deter

Dreamt of kisses and cuddles

And pillow talks

Of beaches at sunset

And moonlight walks

Simple dreams they all

Yet hard to fulfill

It matters not to me

Dream on, I will

Everyone has dreams

Come true, just a few

But all of mine did

The day I found you

.................

that was one gr8 original piece by my latest buddy, Ms.V (though she gots loads o other names)!

have lots to talk abt dreams........but all that, i keep for the comments......!

pour 'em in ppl!

the "outlaw let it out" into a "square space" wondering "wat do i right" and got "caught at midwicket", he being a "last word freak" !!!

2004-12-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

jus wanted to see how it looks to get all our blogs into a one-liner....

to give an elaborate listing -

J's blog - www.lastwordfreak.blogspot.com
Ranga's - www.caughtatmidwicket.blogspot.com
Giri's - www.girish.squarespace.com
Mine - www.watdoiright.blogspot.com

but y am i writing this down...i donno! n i hate it when am always being vague in my blog....not that i cud conjure up anything that might attract more than a 100 comments........but i aint lost faith. 'cos there is lots to talk n lotsa them to talk with.......only now am i wondering wat to talk abt this time!

when in Chennai this time around, did a very crazy thing, as ususal. went to the beach at 12pm noon.....wattosay?! had me thinkin all nonsense bordering on genius.......felt like the whole sea belonged to me! and if something can humble me anytime.....it wud be a visit to the sea!

Ranga when ur here....we'll have to chunk out atleast 5hrs startig from 5pm on one day to be in front of the splendourous Elliot's beach...k?!

waiting for this 1 week to end, though it might possibly be more than that before we meet!

Chennai.....here I come !!!

2004-12-03T16:21:00.000-08:00

Cannot remmeber being under such tremendous pressure to post......! Pressure from everyone who knows i write a blog! someone else in the same position would have felt - 'i have been bad in not posting for so long' ....but ha! not me! jus like i was telling one of the pressurising souls - how cleverly i have named my blog! every writer has his block....and sometimes in these cases has some reason not to write a blog....but with me it happens like, most of the times i dont see a reason to write! also...not an excuse, but if i need to say something and i find it there already in one of the other 3 blogs i visit by default, i dont feel like putting it down in my own again! ......see a point there?!

Anyways this entry is not about y am not writing for long periods....it is about the present few weeks during which i have to stop n think to actually realise where i am....Bangalore or Chennai! It is not easy as u might think.....'cos the sensation of 'jet lag' is lots when one is jus in n out of working in night shifts and sleeping like a log.... flat on his face !!!

Jus a day to go when i am off to Chennai for the 3rd time in jus under 2 weeks.....the reasons being very wierdly wide ranged..... attempted burglary at home...!, meeting hell a lota people who actually r waiting to see u....., and the last n now reason being jus that i have a few days off on 6-7-8 Dec on which days i dont have a clue what i might do being in B'lore.......

so Chennai !.... here i come! Nowadays my Chennai sojourns go at frentic pace....breakneck speed....'cos before i realise am back in Bangalore....getting ready to go back to Chennai again! cranky right! but thats all i have been doing the past week.......and have come to expect lots out of each trip nowadays......mebbe 'cos dont want to miss the good things...pack 'em all when its possible...........!

Relish list:

1. Sooper cappuchino with doughnet - Giri on one side an Andy on the other on GN Chetty rd.....with strange behaving couples all around.......

2.High voltage narration and script editing session along the Burkit road with RR before reaching Saptagiri for a higher voltage dinner! THA!

3.Mindblowing composing sessions at Giri's place....though as jus a spectator! Exhilarating!

4.All those delicacies that come to ur lap....when ur jus whiling away time in front of the TV!

5.Jus the feeling of being home......!

Can i ask for more from a single visit? n now to think that i missed those Spencer plaza visits with my cousin in the morning, and plate of 14 idlis in Saravana Bavan with her brother....! Wow man!

Ranga.......nee vada! namma adikkarom koothu.........

Chennai-a oru kalakku kallakkarom!!!! THA......Shoore!!!!!!

'kalyaanam.....aayiram kaalathu payir....'

2004-11-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

Felt recently......had to write some thing on this famous line!

Nowadays wherever i go n meet whoever i knew earlier always seem to discuss trivials n get back to this topic....the most essential truth of humanity.........'PAIRING UP' ;-))

This now, has somehow led me to strongly believe in that marriage in India is an 'institution'. So much goes into the event, being very unique in a person's life on this side of the Meridian that makes it very special.

Most of these self proclaimed 'level- headed' people have got that someone to settle down with.....or thats how their claims go! 'Aayiram kaalathu payir' ivlo seekrama aruvada aayiduchcha? Not very interesting.....

Ennamo! Am always ok to play the waiting game....! [if it is going to be my decision! ;-)]

already see ppl reading here smiling to themselves.....

kidnap a street-orphan....donate to orphanage!

2004-10-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

This was an absolutely natural/dumb theme, some askew mebbe tired minds, conjured up last week! And then, it was decided that this wud be my next blog....not that it has to do anything with wat this log is abt!

I found out that when anyone is searching for a house...in this land of the ever greedy Scrooge's, it sure happens that the person faints before all is over, and that too, if he gets a place to live that he is looking for. Anyaayam! I sound this harsh 'cos i was shown some s**thole, where even a pigeon wudnt care to do it, n 4k bucks was the amount quoted as rent! It took REAL patience and some nomadic, unrewarding efforts and all the will power i cud muster to come to a reasonable decision.

Finally we(here me n bull) did decide on a place to live....though this 1BHK not being worth the amount we going to pay as rent!

As someone commented - 'So! Balaji? back to college life?huh?'....n i replied sayin-'college vera, vaazhkai vera...college romba secure environment! inimey thaan theriyum!'

So a whole new phase of life lies ahead....not much different from that lead by close-estranged frends in foriegn lands......feels lonely in the real sense for the first time!!

Of Zoos, Eating and Speed-riding!

2004-10-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

The long awaited arrival of Saravanan did finally come on the cold morning of 2nd October.

When returning back from picking him from the statition, just around the ususal corner near my place i saw 'that' couple as i have been doing now for almost an year and a half....jus confirming from Saro that it was 7:30 sharp indeed! talk about commitment! thats wat actually drew me to 'em, atleast take a peek every morning dot at 7:30am and feel assured 'they' met today!
Ha...! LOVE!!!!

anyways...this trip was long awaited 'cos it was to be made duing Bull's(Karthik-Wipro) bithday weekend, but that dint happen. So the whole itenarary was left to be planned by Bull and as expected...nothing was for sure on 2nd morning. But some loon had suggested to Bull that we go to Bannerghatta Zoo rather than on a long drive to Nandini Hills 'where there isn't even a tea stall' - as Bull put it.

Even the ride along the potholes with some roads in between to Bannerghatta was fun because of the distance and those cuddly couples on Pulsars, who we kept givin a gud race with our Splendor n Libero's! And u reach there after a wretched ride is when u find out...most people around here take it to be a serious place to be visited in the weekends! Only going around the place n coming back outside do u realise, u had been amidst a couple of bushes with fences around them called 'Zoo'....damn! it is a small roadside garden compared to Vandalur or even the Mysore zoo i had visited few years back! It was so uninteresting there that we only took a total of six-seven snaps going around the whole place! Which zoo do u reach-go around the place-and pack up in just about 2 hours, which exactly what we did!! And sure we were hungry like hell... No specific place in mind led us to the convivial 'Krishna Kafe' in Koramangala...where this definitely sooper 'kalyana saapaadu' after long time, had us all lumbering along to the bikes, each of us passing around the bike keys and with it the burden of riding in Bangalore traffic after such heavy lunch! What else to do next?...heading straight to Bull's place - the nearest one to where we ate - and falling asleep like a polar bear on its belly was logical! But again Bull had different plans for us...and got all the cursing for it later. We watched 'Kudaikkul Mazhai' - the new Paarthiban film - and were drained beyond our sane abilities to do anything after the pathetic ordeal!

All that was Saturday and returning back home was a big relief. So Saro n me thought unwinding by watching 'The Village' would be best! Ten minutes into the movie both of us found out we were famished and had to sleep! Not to mention that the movie was of no help to revive us from that state! And the movie still remains to be seen! It has to be mentioned here that when retuning the cd back first thing on Sunday morning, there was this guy outside the shop asking how the movie was. I said- 'i am yet to watch n so dont know!', to which he gave a bewildered n sad look saying - 'I've watched it 4 times n still dont know what it is about, atleast thought u cud tell me!!!". Have to verify that one!

Sunday dint present any surprises as i like 'em, and so we had to head back to the always crowded MG/Brigade corners. Food at RR was tedious with some old friends-new faces n some nonsense talk going around. All plans of returnin back home to finish watchin the movie also went for a toss as new plans came up from the new faces! atleast the ones spared from the plans cud catch up with unadultrated 3 hours of sleep! We got up watching 'Shrek' on movies and then it was farewell time....! Had a good weekend though, after a long time....!

Got hold of a copy of 'Are u afraid of the dark'...so possibly something to post a comment on J's blog in a few days time??

why a victory means so much...!

2004-09-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

to even those who are least related to the actual victory!

that was a reference to the splendid victory of the Windies over the Pommies in the ICC champs trophy! I said least related 'cos i dint want to mean those uninterested but it wasnt even the Indians playin the finals, but still me n mother had a bet on the cup-winner.... n WI did really well to get where they got to!

Jus few months ago - Ganguly, as he often seems to be doing nowadays, stupidly said - we are the 2nd best team , those really capable of posing serious threat to Aussies'.....n in real no time of a month look at the possibilities this Champions trophhy has revealed....! England, i thought, cakewalked to the final beating the Green-baggies without any serious threat and when everyone almost knew it was a forgone conclusion that WI would only be the second best in this Trophy...they come up trumps with true grit...n excellent cricket!
So now that England beat Aussies n got beaten by WI, does it mean that here we have the new best team in the world! Cant be.... but the difference between the top six ODI teams (as per ICC)- Aus,Eng,NewZ,Srilnk,SouthAfr,Pak followed by Ind and WI is getting closer n closer!

So atleast we know this win will be a real boost to the next World Cup scheduled in WI, n the way players are shaping up in each n every team...cricket in the coming days promises to be real exciting!

And vaangada Aussies- veetla vechukkarom ungala! Already Gilly seems to have started the usual pre-match banter aussie eshtyle.....

eager for the thumpin to start!

Robbed!

2004-09-16T15:54:00.000-07:00

Have been robbed offlate of a favourite pastime......!!!

Those who know me will have for sure guessed by now what am talkin abt...! What does a man yearn for? Good food - or mebbe some food to eat and a good rest after that.....so if u r not still able to make out what am talkin abt......the night shifts that i have been doing now for almost 3 weeks have taken a big toll on my SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bliss is another word i choose to describe what i think i have lost offlate....not that i dont get to practise this fav pastime of mine....but the effect and fulfillment of a night's sleep is surely n sorely missing..! it jus has become on of my routines rather than something i used to enjoy earlier.....

n to think that in few days time this damned shift goes around n will have to be in office at 6:30am in the morning is intimidating enuf! yuk! Even losing some sleep i can stand! but to get up THAT EARLY in the morning is one thing i wud give anything... not to do!

onnum illa....all i think of sayin is .....wanna get mad?? try not sleeping for coupla days....atleast i have been driven so for a few weeks now! :-(

Harsha....brilliant!....as always....

2004-09-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

Back to the blog-tested Ctrl+C...Ctrl+V.....(Courtesy espnstar.com)

but something i dfntly enjoyed... and was touched by!

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Pride is a peculiar thing though; those that have it can't imagine life without it and those that don't wonder what the fuss is all about. You are either born with pride or it infects you with the first glow of success. And so, those that don't have it need to win.

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And for heavens sake, don't ask why a land of a billion people cannot produce more medals. You can ask stupid questions all your life and yet you will be wise if you do not ask this one. We are a country where children are still being taken off from schools to work the paddy fields and roll tobacco into bidis; where children are driven away from sport towards that one extra mark that might make the difference between a good education and a poor one; where politicians are assigning land meant for playgrounds to builders. We are not a country of a billion people when it comes to the Olympics, not ten percent of that, not one percent of that. When it comes to sport, we are a cruel, heartless, uncaring country and those that ask the question in parliament need only to look around for an answer. If we win a medal, it is a miracle because we choose it to be that way; because athletes are meant to compete with athletes not with their own system.
There is much joy in the Olympics, there is much heartbreak too. That is the way of the world, that is why the cheetah kills the deer.

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Touché ...!

palindrome procession....!!!!

2004-09-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

got freaked out reading some of these on this site - http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/palindromes.htm

A Santa at NASA

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!

A tin mug for a jar of gum, Nita.

A Toyota...race fast...safe car...a Toyota!

Cigar? Toss it in a can. It is so tragic.(the best 1 to me!)

Did I draw Della too tall, Edward? I did!

Doc, note, I dissent, a fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.

Egad! A base tone denotes a bad age.

I, madam, I made radio. So I dared...am I mad, am I?

Lee has a race car as a heel.

Marge lets Norah see Sharon's telegram

Panic in a Titanic, I nap!

Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas.(good one!)

Devil lived

Was it a bar or a bat I saw?

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned. (like hell!!!)

musings......

2004-09-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

i fancy my new Nokia set(6820) for various reasons and one being a facility that says "Notes" in the menu......u jus can type in anything anytime n save it as a note.

So this is how i used the facility when i had gone to some godforsaken ashram(but scenic tho) of Sri Sri Ravishankar...off Bangalore limits with my mother who hapens to attend 'Atma Gnyana yoga' classes to shoot stress.........

the things i wrote....donno y i wrote 'em .....wa so bugged there n jus wanted to put down thoughts. Have been put in order i wrote 'em....not that its important.

To build up the scenario.....

here am, leaning on a tree in an ashram with keen listeners a few feet away from me... listening to eulogies by a genial elderly person on how to live life. A roll of thunder makes me turn my head heavenwards....

1.
Clouds close in on each other... but decide not to cry anyway....'cos they see no point in weeping! But far far below ....two hearts close in on each other....decide to be happy about it....but they only get to cry over it!

2.
When it is right to take right and u'r left with no left take, right then let the left be left to be not right and the right which is only left to be right is the right right! TAKE IT!!!!
(whew! to imagine i wrote this feels cuckoo!)

3.
Greenous blackery is yellowful reddery with blue maroonness and browny pinkious silver?!!!!
(CRAP!!!)

4.
Now here: dark n imposing

Then: just a few seconds....split by rays

N after: shining pure white with a silver streak too!

5.
One step closer...to the zenith! A blitz thru the spine, pure adrenalin rush...yes! i see it....one push n am there ...n now jus now do i remember am not in a race, dont have to prove anyone anything....yet, the moment dust on the peak is disturbed, the whole self goes limp with exhuberence, with success and a light feel in the head!
And then, an old loon lying down there says, sleepily -"u r on the wrong mountain". I tell him - "u r on the wrong planet"
(n i really dont know y i wrote this 1)

the following pieces were written at various other times.....like on train headed towards Chennai or when in a pensive mood at home.........

--
is there destiny...? if u can manipulate ur destiny....wat destiny is then? No one manipulates destiny....it happens the other way round.... And yes!!! thats ur destiny....so jus live! Also...shut up!

--
When u say NO to the question of existence of GOD, ur jus again creating a possibility that there might be one and ur saying no to it. Meaning to say, when there is an yes or no to a question there always exists a possibility of both being true! So either yes/no....the abstract truth is God....it is an idea..... example: when u act eccentric n some1 asks u if ur mad and u scream NO!.... there existed a possibility that u were possibly mad....for that moment though!
And the previous line of thougt is so old that the Absolute truth was is n will be the most definite possibility! :-)

lots to tinker on my writing ....thats wat i feel....u tell me guys!

that adrenaline rush.....

2004-08-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

the other day.....was watchin the Olympics with my father; both of us being sports enthusiasts....especially both of us been sprinters at school n college level, were riveted to the world level spectacle that was going on, on TV

what we were watching was a mixture of 100m hurdles heats, 1500 steeplechase finals n the decathlon - that one competition which decleares 'the world's greatest athelete'!

and then i felt.... that only when u have been one the track, running ur heart out to outdo peers to the line or when putting all u have into the sport ur involed like long jump/shotput throw....will u realise the heck of what THE OLYMPICS is all about!

it essentially is that adrenaline rush.....the pure moment when everything else fades into oblivion and u see only ur goal!WOW!

and when all is done, u rule the track.....then the sensation of victory sinks in...and all the rush glows in ur face! a feel of elation mixed with satisfaction grips u.....n that is when so many gr8s cant hold on to thier overwhelming tears....!

was actually asking my pop - 'what have we done in life! look at that guy doing a 3000m steeplechase race in under 9mins!' A quik calculation said 3kms wud be oneway from my place to Blr railway station.....and to think of running all the way in under 9 mins was mindblowing!

mebbe shud say that was a vry humbling experience...

clog....on the blog

2004-08-20T01:10:00.000-07:00

hey! jus wonderin.....who cameup with the idea of bloggin?

to say so....am jus cloggin to blog... mebbe 'cos am new? earlier believed that one got to have belligerent or atleast catchy ideas to go on with your blog?

or mebbe some are so boring that it jus goes on n on without any meaning....(as mine is heading now....?) and end of day! anything is a blog!

J/Giri u tell me! serious issues to write about?

thats wat i have yet got frm J's blog; though learnt from giri's - making one's daily life a story is a gr8 idea o blogging..... read between life-lines! come up with cocky ideas n wat not!

hey! actually feelin wierd taht me too is blogging!................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIMME A CLUE guys!!!!!!!!!!!!

ya so....?

2004-08-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

hey ppl!

first of all wanted to say 'Y Live...? When Nothing Lasts forever?'........

but, do we have a better,bolder choice.....than to LIVE?!

feels gr8!

makki

ps: J u made me start this! dont know y though!

Nothing lasts forever . . .

Why do I not cry?

Words spoken too early...

God willing…

Of Flag-Day, typos and the like…

ARR aka Dileep Kumar - G. O. D.

what a stupid world...!

a true leader... maan gaye Dada!

That day….

Poi...

Only us...!

and then ...

At the end is the beginning…

Great Lakes - Class of 2009

two quotes... recent and relevant

Proved beyond doubt...

That time of the year...

Eloquent

J to the Oz

Askance...

How are you Sir? How's life?

Another reason why I love my i-pod

is this me?!

the contrast

maybe, maybe not

Expanding horizons....

'God's Debris'

a quarter...

Looking ahead

Chennai ahoy...!

a step towards heaven...

Me...a travellin soldier...

Honnemaradu...

The out-of-the-world week that was!

Unwind – Rewind

Does "grey" matter??? YES IT DOES!!! :D

Is it 'too late'? or not?

Cut to the chase!

Our President Kalam was always wedded!!

Don’t we all have our horcruxes??

Holocaust II / WW III ... ?

A good story...

Is this prejudice?

oru lady's finger-in nagam!

Back from Heaven!

Sachin is GOD, again...!

Is life fair? Was it meant to be at all?

Oblivion

finger numbing!

I LOVE INDIA

The truth

In the beginning

'The One Thing'

Why do i think this is true?! Or is it not?!

The ‘Bajji’ tradition

Sky is the limit!

Burp - 1

To smack or not to smack?

It’s a state of mind

Here a blog, there a blog

Indulgence is heavenly!

A whiff of freshness!

Rivertree

A blog on blogs and bloggers!

Zoo in the night time?!

Why our education system needs a fix!

Books Vs Movies ... ?

'YES' and 'NO'

The way she says...."Hey Mahesh"

Downright crazy.....n it works !!!

Flavor of all seasons.... **Enraged**

A Class act...!

Admonition works...

But somethings last for a lifetime...

Dreams i like to dream............

the "outlaw let it out" into a "square space" wondering "wat do i right" and got "caught at midwicket", he being a "last word freak" !!!

Chennai.....here I come !!!

'kalyaanam.....aayiram kaalathu payir....'

kidnap a street-orphan....donate to orphanage!

Of Zoos, Eating and Speed-riding!

Flavor of all seasons.... Enraged