I have always been regarded lucky, be it among immediate family or friends. At an age where I dint grasp the meaning of luck, I would reassure myself that I was indeed lucky. The time when my mom asked me to go down the road to get vegetables, the hawker would just pass across our house. How darn lucky me! And the next time, when it is my turn to mop the floor [due to prolonged absence of the maid], I sulk and pick up the mop… and out of thin air the maid appears…wow! What luck! Such trivialities were enough to convince me I was luckiest. And not recently but for some good time now, am ruing the ‘luck’ I have. Maybe I have come to terms with reality, but isn’t everyone considered lucky than some others at some point of time? I can immediately count a minimum of four instances I was really unlucky – like wanting to say at that moment ‘only if I were lucky enough ____’. And so could any of us I know! Is it just that bad luck is omnipresent, and the appearance of the Lady in our life is a reprieve from the drudgery?
When should I really consider myself lucky? When I escaped The Tsunami, or on a broader spectrum, when I consider that I am in the safe-mode living of school-engineering-work rather than toiling it out to face uncertainties on a daily basis? Instead I find so many instances to consider myself unlucky, love life for an instance. But in retrospect, I definitely have to admit that God has been kind to me on most counts, providing a cushion to fall back on whenever needed.
Recent events have sent me into a gloom tizzy. The number of obituaries I have heard in the last 2-3 months really exceeds the number I would have heard in years. And I am just talking about the people I know. I don’t want to start about the natural tragedies wreaking havoc around the globe. Why did it all have to happen? Does a father of two girls have to go in a bad car accident? Or does this father have to get smashed up early in the morning when dropping his son home? What about this successful entrepreneur who suffers a sudden hemorrhage to leave a young and bereaved wife with a one year old in hand?! Where is the luck all these people need? I am seriously short of words to say something to these people. And this not to console them, they don’t need any consoling, but just reassurance. But I feel the hollow in my words when I tell them – ‘time will heal it all’ or ‘this will also pass’ etc. My logic that everything happens for a reason just flies out of the window! And still am unsure how all will fall into place? Failure I can come to terms with but death, it still baffles me!
After a long hiatus I would not have preferred this incoherent blog entry, but I could not contain myself! How do I start to believe again? I got no clue!
